Perils of Magical Investigative Journalism
by Quatermass
Summary: Harry Potter has been dragged to Japan by his wife, Luna. There, Luna intends to do an exposé on the Holy Grail War of Fuyuki, one of the most lethal magical tournaments ever. Chaos erupts, past sins come to haunt the present, broken people fight for broken causes, and Harry has to do his saving people thing again. No pressure, right? Well, at least their Servants are lookers...
1. Foreword

**FOREWORD**

One franchise I've been meaning to do a crossover with for some time was _Fate/Stay Night_. It was partly due to the works of sakurademonalchemist and Lupine Horror that got me interested enough in the series. Although as of writing I am yet to experience _Fate/Stay Night_ in any form beyond fanfic, I have the first anime series on DVD, and can access the movie version of _Unlimited Blade Works_.

Now, you'd think that this would not be enough for me to write a crossover. Well, it wouldn't be enough if I wanted to do a truly serious one. However, for my debut in the realm of a _Fate/Stay Night_ fic, I intend to do a somewhat more comedic story. It will still have the serious undertones needed for many sequences, but this is still very much a comedic story.

My first point was my own crossover with _Final Fantasy XII, Nitimur in Vetitum_ , where a very weary Master of Death Harry ends up in Ivalice, as well as its inspiration, a crossover with _Mass Effect_ called _Getting Too Old For This_ by ManMadeofLasers. And given that a world-weary, darkly comic Harry would be a good match for Zelretch, well…there's that. Eventually, what was known as _Light the Blue Touch Paper and Run Like Hell_ tanked out after two chapters, though some elements remain. I decided an immortal and invincible Harry might not work, despite some humorous set pieces I had in mind. So I went back, and decided to do a Harry/Luna story where Luna drags Harry into the Grail War, in a manner similar to two of my other Harry/Luna stories _Truth and Consequences_ , and _Yin and Yang_.

I'm actually also taking a cue from another Harry Potter/ _Fate/Stay Night_ crossover, _Second Chance of They Who Have Been Betrayed_ by Soaring Midnight Raven, and a pure _Fate/Stay Night_ fic, _Path of the King_ by Neoalfa.

I would also like to thank longterm reader Gabriel Herrol, whose challenge inspired this story, even if it didn't follow the challenge. And, of course, I thank sakurademonalchemist and Lupine Horror for getting me remotely interested in _Fate/Stay Night_ in the first place.

Anyway, time for the usual disclaimers. Firstly, there will be spoilers for both Harry Potter and _Fate/Stay Night_. In addition, I am taking to the canon of _Fate/Stay Night_ with a cricket bat. You don't like it? Bugger off.

Secondly, there will be heavy annotations, as is usual for my works. You have been warned.

Thirdly, this is an M-Rated work. There will be coarse language, violence, and sexual references. Again, you have been warned.

Finally, the following is a fan-written work. Harry Potter and _Fate/Stay Night_ are the properties of their respective owners. Please support the official release. Otherwise, Zouken might just throw you into a pit full of Crest Worms…


	2. Chapter 1: Escape into Danger

**CHAPTER 1:**

 **ESCAPE INTO DANGER**

There are many mating calls throughout the animal kingdom, from beautiful to raucous, from elegant to the grotesque. But perhaps there are fewer unusual than the one tearing its way from the lips of a young man who had just finished vomiting on the footpath.

"Goddammit, Luna…" Harry Potter said, before he heaved again, depositing more mess on the concrete footpath.

"Harry, we need to get you over these travel sickness problems," Luna Lovegood, technically Luna Potter, replied with a too-cheerful smile, given the circumstances.

"There's a difference between travel sickness, Luna, and using an emergency Portkey shortly after being nearly drowned in dragon shit by irate breeders whose spaying practises you've exposed in _The Quibbler_ ," Harry said. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for it, and for the automatic clothes cleaning, but still, I am nauseous. I'm puking things I don't think I have even eaten yet."

"Well, you'll be pleased to know we're not in England anymore," Luna said.

"…Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to be pleased anyway?"

"Just your imagination," Luna said cheerfully.

"…You know, if this was me denying reality to you, it would be gaslighting," Harry remarked. "But with you doing it, it's… _you_."

Luna smirked. It was certainly an experience, Harry reflected, being married to Luna Lovegood. He broke off his relationship with Ginny for good after a year of trying to revive it after the Battle of Hogwarts. It took a while to mend bridges with the Weasleys after that. Hermione had married a Squib who had later become a scientist, of all things, and the two were doing groundbreaking research. It was actually through that Squib that Harry first heard about Magi, the 'cousins', so to speak, of wizards and witches. Both equally old-fashioned, both with their own pros and cons, and they fucking hated each other. It was rumoured that many Magi let Voldemort run around because they thought they would thin out the wizarding population substantially. Wizards thought that the Magi were cruel experimenters and meddlers in things nobody should, and the Magi thought wizards to be inbred hicks too scared to delve too deeply into magic.

At the time, his relationship with Luna had progressed to engagement, having surpassed the friends with benefits stage. It was while idly mentioning his discussion with Hermione's husband that Harry learned a shocking thing about Luna. Her family, from her mother's side, came from a long line of Magi. In fact, Luna's mother was a Homunculus, created by the von Einzberns, a notorious Magus family from Germany, known for their skill with Homunculi, their ruthlessness even by Magi standards, and their high-end ale. Luna needed some modifications to grow properly, though, as well as a charm to disguise her albino snow-white skin and her eyes, which were actually naturally red. Like Voldemort's, only on Luna, red eyes looked endearing. Harry eventually decided that being half-Homunculus merely explained a hell of a lot about the strange girl, and decided she was still all right in his book.

The relationship between Harry and Luna was considerably more complex than husband and wife. Indeed, Luna was the main breadwinner, as she turned _The Quibbler_ into a major force for investigative journalism in Magical Britain. Harry still worked, not that he needed to with his family's money, mostly as a freelance bodyguard. He'd even been a bodyguard for Draco Malfoy, of all people, for a few memorable weeks. He usually acted as Luna's bodyguard, and general minder. It was like being the assistant to Hunter S Thompson, only with less drugs and violence, and more sex and crazy.

And in a way, Harry didn't mind it. It meant he was important for something other than being the Boy Who Lived, the so-called messiah of Magical Britain, slayer of Lord Voldemort, etc. And he and Luna complemented each other. Luna, deep down, was broken in many ways, and Harry was too. They fit together like the jagged edges of a jigsaw puzzle.

Still, there were a few things about their life that Harry could do without. Like revenge attacks by people who Luna pissed off in her articles. One of which they had just escaped. And the fact that Harry didn't know where the freaking fuck he was. Again. Though the road sign in what had to be Japanese helped narrow it down.

"Luna," he began in a long-suffering tone, knowing the answer would make him more annoyed than ever, "why are we in Japan?"

"Umm, because Uncle Zelretch programmed the Portkey for Japan?"

Oh yes. Of course. It had to be Luna's Uncle Zelretch who did this. When Harry first met the old man who was like Dumbledore with a shorter beard, twinkling red eyes, and a perpetual smirk that seemed like it belonged on Sirius Black, he wasn't actually surprised that Luna's honorary uncle was actually a vampire. Or, for that matter, a vampire of a particular variety known as a 'Dead Apostle Ancestor'. Then again, save for the blood red eyes and the occasional predatory look in them, Zelretch was actually all right for a vampire. The predatory gleam usually meant that he was looking for a new victim, not to suck blood from, but to prank the ever-loving fuck out of them.

He would have fit right in with the Marauders. Indeed, Zelretch had actually employed Remus Lupin immediately after he was forced to resign from Hogwarts, as a research assistant. When Harry asked why, Zelretch claimed (albeit with a pseudo-Dumbledoresque twinkle in his sanguine eyes) that he wanted to prank people who believed a werewolf and a vampire couldn't get along. Indeed, apparently Lupin and Zelretch pranked a lot of people at Clock Tower, and Zelretch had been forced to dismiss Lupin on the orders of Barthomeloi Lorelei, the so-called Queen of Clock Tower. Even so, Zelretch was named by Lupin as the second godfather of Teddy Lupin, much to the horror of Andromeda Tonks. That was the first time Harry heard of Zelretch, though he only met him for the first time through Luna.

"Luna…at the risk of regretting my question, why did Zelretch set the emergency Portkey to Japan?" Harry asked tentatively.

"Because my next big exposé was to be in Japan," Luna said with a wide grin. "I was going to do a special article on the upcoming Fuyuki Holy Grail War. Uncle Zelretch claimed it was going to be starting fifty years ahead of schedule."

Harry stared at her incredulously. While he was all for investigative journalism, doing so about a war sounded like a bad idea, if one was about to get caught up in the middle of it. And given his bad luck, and both of their tendencies to attract trouble like blowflies to a corpse, he knew something was going to go badly wrong. "…And you didn't see fit to ask me?"

Luna shrugged. "Uncle Zelretch said that it's better to seek forgiveness than permission. Your creed as well as mine. Anyway, you weren't complaining when I gave you that surprise in the shower two nights ago."

"I've gotten used to those," Harry said.

"Oh. I might have to change it up a bit, then." Luna then peered behind him. Her face lost its smile, instead having a mask of mild concern. Experience as the spouse and minder of Luna Lovegood (despite being married to him, she kept her maiden name, simply because she thought of Luna Potter as not odd enough) had given him the ability to determine whether her concern meant that he had a psychotic Nundu charging behind him, or whether she had just noticed something fall off a nearby shelf. Judging by her look, what was currently behind him was not immediately dangerous, and indeed might be in need of assistance.

He turned to find a strange figure behind him. Not as strange as some of those he had experienced during his life, even when at Hogwarts, though by mundane standards, the blue robes and dark hooded cloak were strange and old-fashioned. It was a woman, her face mostly hidden by the hood of her cloak, though the lower part of her face was visible, along with strands of light blue hair. There was also a strange sense of fatigue about her, as if she was running out of energy. Subtle, nothing as explicit as breathing heavily, but there was an instability to her stance that spoke of exhaustion.

The woman spoke in accented English. Not a Japanese accent by any means, but one that sounded odd all the same. "You two…what are you? Magi?"

"I'm a witch, he's a wizard," Luna said. She tilted her head. "Are you a Servant?"

After a brief moment, the woman nodded her hooded head. "Caster."

"Gesundheit?" Harry asked.

Luna ignored him, skipping merrily over to the woman, and peered at her. The woman pursed her lips in what could have been annoyance, bemusement, or even amusement, or all of the above. "Just out of interest, how do you feel about having a _ménage à trois?_ "

In the silence that followed, Harry said, "Luna, we are NOT making this woman a sex slave. Why the hell did you call this poor woman a Servant?"

"Because she is one. Oh, that's right. I didn't tell you about Heaven's Feel."

"…Is that anything to do with that plan you had to grope an angel?"

"No, no. Though thanks for reminding me," Luna said with a smile.

The woman in the hooded cloak turned her attention to Harry. "If she is your wife or concubine, I pity you. But time is of the essence. I require one of you to become my Master. Preferably the sane one."

"Luna's not insane, she's…just a little reality-impaired," Harry said, Luna beaming all the while.

After a brief pause, the woman said, "I stand by my earlier statement."

"Yeah, but…I have issues about having servants."

"Oh, I cannot tarry any longer!" the woman said exasperatedly. "I need your help, or I will soon vanish from this plane of existence, and to be perfectly honest, I would prefer to remain here for a little while longer yet. Can I put it any more bluntly than that?"

"Oh." Harry blinked. But before he could do anything, Luna skipped merrily over, and kissed the woman in a rather passionate manner. The woman seemed as surprised at this as Harry was, so much so that her hood fell back.

Harry stared at the woman's face. Long blue hair framed a face that was both regally beautiful and rather lugubrious. Her eyes added to this, a melancholy, beautiful blue. But her ears were the oddest feature, being pointed, rather like an elf's ears.

When Luna broke off the kiss, the woman seemed to blink rapidly, her eyes seemingly threatening to roll into the back of her head. "Ah," the woman said. "Well, that is one way to supply me with a…hmm, what is an appropriate colloquialism?"

"A TARDIS-load?" Luna supplied.

After a moment, the woman decided to go with it. "…Right. A TARDIS-load of prana."

Harry, meanwhile, frowned as he noticed something on Luna's hand. "Luna…since when did you get an ominous-looking demonic tattoo?"

"Oh, this?" Luna said. "They are Command Seals. I got them when I agreed to become Caster's Master."

"…Is that her name? Caster?"

"In much the same way as Boy Who Lived is your name, yes," Luna said. "Her real name, though, is Medea of Colchis. You may remember her from such legends as Jason and the Argonauts, and a supporting role in the myth of Theseus. Yet another woman in Greek myth royally screwed over by gods and mortals alike. Actually, yet another woman screwed over by history." She cocked her head. "Did you hear that noise?"

"What noise?" Harry and Caster…well, Medea, who looked rather shocked at Luna's blasé reveal of her identity, said simultaneously.

"All those women obscured or maligned unnecessarily by history and myth all sneezing at once," Luna said.

Medea looked askance at Luna, before saying, "I appreciate the sentiment, but you know that you are now my Master, and all that entails."

"Of course."

Harry put his hand up. "Umm, I didn't get the memo. Can I have the abridged version?"

"Oh, well, you know that Holy Grail War thing I wanted to cover for _The Quibbler_ , Harry? Well, as of now, we're participating in it!"

Harry stared at Luna, and then at Medea, who seemed to be giving him a pitying look, before looking back at Luna, before giving voice to his thoughts in the only way he could, given the circumstances.

"Oh, fuck all kinds of duck."

 **CHAPTER 1 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, here you have it. I originally intended, as with** ** _Light the Blue Touch Paper_** **…, for Harry to be Medea's Master. But the thought of Luna snogging Medea (as she does with Lust in** ** _Truth and Consequences_** **, and Poison Ivy in** ** _Yin and Yang_** **) was too appealing to pass up. Luna's the kind of person to French-kiss a Basilisk just to see what it'd taste like. Well, she IS a Ravenclaw with a strange sense of what is considered dangerous. And considering Casters require more strategic skills to make up for their crappy ability to fight under normal circumstances, it suits Luna, a Ravenclaw, to be paired up with one.**

 **But who will Harry's Servant be? And how will they affect Heaven's Feel? You'll see.**

 **As of writing this (but before I publish this as a story rather than a sample chapter), I have obtained** ** _Fate/Stay Night: Unlimited Blade Works Part 1_** **on DVD.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	3. Chapter 2: Heaven's Feel, Bad Touch

**CHAPTER 2:**

 **HEAVEN'S FEEL, BAD TOUCH**

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose in ever-increasing frustration and annoyance. If he understood Luna and Medea correctly, he had just been dragged into a magical tournament not unlike the Tri-Wizard Tournament, only far more secretive, far more acrimonious, and far more lethal. Seven people, known as Masters, would summon seven famous figures from throughout myth and history, Heroic Spirits, to become their Servants, to do battles by proxy. As Masters provided their Servants with the energy to stay in existence, an unspoken rule was that killing the Master to defeat the Servant was allowed, even encouraged. All for the prize of the Holy Grail, an artifact that was supposed to grant the desires of the last Servant and Master left standing.

There were seven 'classes', one for each of the Servants. Sabers, the masters of swordplay, experts in close-range battle. Lancers, masters of using spears and polearms, fighting with alacrity from just out of arm's reach. Archers, masters of ranged weaponry, capable of annihilating enemies from afar. Riders, known for their vehicles or mounts, the fastest of the classes. Berserkers, insanely strong, and just plain insane, overwhelming enemies with sheer strength and tenacity. Assassins, known to use stealth and deception to target Masters especially.

And Casters, experts in magic, and capable of reshaping the landscape, so to speak, to gain a boost to their magic, as well as create magical items.

Now his wife was the Master of one of them. Which meant she was in danger. Well, they both were.

So, same shit, different day.

God, he wondered why he was Sorted into Gryffindor. Life and death situations tended to pall after the first couple of them. He sometimes wondered why he didn't try to work it out with Ginny instead of Luna.

Well, Luna had a good heart, first and foremost. Ginny did too, admittedly, and she was pretty. But Luna was also devastatingly intelligent (in a very lateral way), could make him laugh when he needed it, had a smoking hot body, and the sex was pretty wild. She was perpetually interesting too.

He just wished it didn't veer into the 'may you live in interesting times' curse territory. He'd had enough of interesting times during his time at Hogwarts.

After a moment, Harry said, "Leaving all that aside, given that you've conscripted us into a very lethal magical tournament that makes the Tri-Wizard Tournament look like a kid's soccer game by comparison…"

"I dunno, some of those games can get pretty vicious, even when kids are involved," Luna said.

"Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was about to point out that, if they target Masters, what's to stop them from targeting me to gain leverage over you?"

They were climbing the steps leading to a temple, Medea and Luna having explained things to Harry as they walked up there. Medea had decided she wanted to make the temple, sitting as it did on a number of leylines, her base of operations.

"That's a fair point," Medea said. "The best solution is for you to summon a Servant of your own. The source of your magic seems to be different to the Magi who usually fight in these wars, but to be frank, it's not incompatible. To tell the truth, I feel invigorated. I could probably use my Noble Phantasm more times than I normally could."

"Umm, I don't want to summon someone to fight and die on my behalf," Harry said.

"Harry, when Servants die, they return to the Throne of Heroes. That's where the Heroic Spirits reside when they're not fighting. Think of it as Valhalla meets HP Lovecraft," Luna said.

"…That's far from reassuring," Harry said.

* * *

The Ryuudou Temple, as the temple on the hill proved to be called, turned out to be surprisingly accommodating. Medea claimed that she had been mugged, only to be helped by Harry and Luna, and she needed somewhere to stay for the time being. As it turned out, the monks were distantly aware of magic, and one of them had heard of Harry Potter, so they went out of their way to be accommodating to the trio. A man called Souichirou Kuzuki, a rather stoic-looking character, also helped smooth things over, as he lived at the temple too, despite being no monk. Harry decided he was going to give the temple a huge donation for their troubles.

In the austere room assigned for them, they set up a summoning circle. Then, apparently out of nowhere, Luna provided a series of items, which Harry looked askance at. "We use those to summon a Servant," Harry said flatly.

"Yes," Luna said with a smile, though he didn't fail to notice her shooting a look at Medea, who seemed about to say something.

"…At least it isn't a rubber chicken and a whip, like last time," Harry muttered.

"Last time?" Medea asked, raising an azure eyebrow.

"I was trying unconventional methods to summon _loa_ ," Luna said carelessly. She handed Harry the items, including a printed page. Harry wondered briefly why she had a printout, before deciding, it was Luna. Whenever she heard the word 'impossible', she reached for the nearest dictionary(1).

After placing the items, holding a knife and a feather in his hands, Harry sighed, and then began. "I give you Coin I made from a stone. I give you a Song I stole from the dirt. I give you a Knife from under the hills, and a Stick that I stuck through a dead man's eye. I give you a Claw I ripped from a rat. I give you a Name, and the Name is lost." Harry pricked his wrist with the knife carefully, wincing, having flashbacks to the time when Pettigrew revived Voldemort with bone dust from Tom Riddle Senior, Pettigrew's own hand, and Harry's blood. "I give you the Blood from out of my vein, and a Feather I pulled from an angel's wing."

As Luna and, after a moment, Medea began chanting " _Come_ ," over and over again, Harry continued. He wasn't sure if he could stop. The ritual, wherever the hell Luna got it from, was taking over, the magic having the momentum all of its own. "I call you with names, oh my lord, oh my lord. I summon with poison and summon with pain. I open the way and open the gates. Come. I summon you in the name of the Old Lords. Namtar. Allatu. Morax. Naberius. Klesh. Vepar. Maymon. Ashema-Deva calls you. Maborym calls you. Horvendile calls you. From the dark they call you…into the dark they call you."

The circle in front of them flared with light, but Harry continued, even as he felt his hand, the one which had been etched into by the Blood Quill of Umbridge so long ago, flare with pain. "Coin and Song, Knife and Stick, Claw and Name, Blood and Feather. Here in the darkness, here in the darkness, here in the darkness, here in the darkness, here in the darkness…we summon you together. COME!"

One last flare of light, and, to Harry's complete and utter shock, someone was standing in the middle of the circle. Not some _thing_ , not the writhing mass of tentacles and insanity he had been half-expecting in the back of his mind (he had the feeling that, if Cthulhu existed, Luna would summon him to interview him for _The Quibbler_ ). But it was a woman. And a very beautiful and buxom one at that.

She was dressed in a daringly-short black dress, with what seemed to be long gloves and stockings. She had long, violet hair, framing a beautiful, if somewhat stoic, face. Her forehead was marred by a strange occult symbol, while her eyes were covered by a sort of rigid blindfold, almost like a domino mask without eyeholes, or a rigid sleeping mask. It looked familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on why.

"Servant Rider has answered your… _unconventional_ summons," the woman said, her soft voice having a faint, lyrical hiss to it, like a snake. "I ask of you, are you my master?"

" _I guess I am_ ," Harry said ruefully, looking down at his hand, at the Command Seals branded onto it. He didn't even realise what he had spoken in until Rider and Caster looked at him sharply.

" _You speak the serpent tongue?_ " Rider asked, surprised.

" _I'm a Parselmouth, if that's what you mean_ ," Harry said. He initially thought that had gone away with Voldemort's Horcrux, but it turned out to remain. Luna had gotten him to have interviews with various snakes, some of which she published in _The Quibbler_.

"You never told me your husband was a Parselmouth," Medea remarked.

"It's a bit of a sensitive subject for him," Luna said.

Rider looked over at Medea and Luna, before turning to him with what was probably a confused look in her eyes, if they were visible. "Master?" she asked in English.

"Okay, a few ground rules," Harry said. "Firstly, no fighting each other unless we explicitly say so. Secondly, I'd prefer it if you call me by my name, and not Master. I am Harry Potter. This is my wife, Luna Lovegood."

Luna smiled winningly. "That's my Servant Caster, better known as Medea of Colchis, and…ooh. Harry, guess who you've got?"

"Umm…a blind Parselmouth?"

"Affinity with snakes, and I think that blindfold is for our protection. Ooh, Harry, you got Medusa! Am I right?" she asked Rider with a grin.

After a moment, Rider admitted, "Yes. I am Medusa."

Harry tilted his head, and frowned. "Huh. No snakes for hair…but that's a good thing. Wow, you weren't what I expected when I think of Medusa."

"I see," Medusa said in a rather neutral tone.

"That was a compliment. You're very beautiful."

A faint smile touched Medusa's features. Medea gave Harry a look, before he added, hastily, "I seem to be attracting a lot of beautiful women lately."

"Who knows, you may get a harem!" Luna said with a grin.

Noticing Medusa's confused look (an impressive feat, considering how much the blindfold obscured her eyes and part of her face), Harry said, "She's like that."

"Is she a Maenad, or perhaps an acolyte of Eris(2)?" Medusa asked.

"She tried that whole Dionysian frenzy thing as a fad shortly after we started dating. She decided to give it up because of the hangovers," Harry said.

"She seems like the perfect acolyte for Dionysus, or Eris. Or Zagreus, for that matter," Medea muttered.

* * *

After some persuasion from Harry, both Servants managed to change their appearance to something that, if they needed to walk around, they wouldn't draw comment. Much, anyway. Medea wore a surprisingly conservative dress that gave her an oddly domestic air, while Medusa wore trousers, a jumper, and her blindfold (named the Breaker Gorgon) was changed into a pair of glasses.

Seeing her eyes for the first time was a revelation. Instead of the ophidian orbs he expected, they were actually magenta, the pupils like a small rectangle. And surprisingly beautiful to boot.

As they sat down in their room, Harry frowned. "You know, one thing's bothering me. You said the Grail War takes place every sixty years, right? And yet, it's only been about ten since the last one. Now, by any arithmetic, that means the Grail War's happening about fifty years too early. So, what gives?"

Luna looked at Medusa and Medea, before she said, her face now solemn, "Uncle Zelretch told me something. Apparently the Grail is corrupted."

This seemed to provoke more shocked reactions from the two Servants than it did from Harry. Then again, a magical wish-granting artifact? That sounded too good to be true. "Explain yourself, now," Medea said.

"Well, he didn't tell me much," Luna said. "But what he did tell me painted a disturbing picture." And considering how serious she looked now, it had to be disturbing. "The previous Grail War was one of the most bloody, and the three surviving Masters were lucky _to_ survive, by all accounts. I'm part-Homunculus, my mother being a defective Homunculus created by the von Einzberns. My aunt, for want of a better term, was married to Kiritsugu Emiya, better known as the Magus Killer. He was an infamous mercenary, a hitman if you will, working for the Magi authorities to clean up after rogue Magi. He fell in love with a von Einzbern Homunculus, my aunt, Irisviel, who was created to be the Lesser Grail."

"What's that?" Harry asked.

"The Lesser Grail is the vessel in which the spirits of the slain Servants are stored, temporarily," Medea said. "After a certain point, the von Einzberns turned the Lesser Grail into Homunculi, so that they could be mobile, defend themselves from any attempts to steal them and subvert the Grail War system."

"But…they're living thinking creatures," Harry said quietly.

Medea snorted in disdain. "Many Magi view everything as potential resources, means to an end. My first master, Altrum Galliasta, was like that. He kidnapped a multitude of people, mostly children, to use in obscene experiments that provided a pittance of results. A waste of life and resources. I killed him when I had the chance, freed his test subjects, and then destroyed his workshop."

Luna nodded. "The three families who founded the Grail Wars, and who are the most frequent participants, are amongst the most ruthless of Magi lines. The von Einzberns of Germany, the Makiris formerly of Russia, and the Tohsakas of Japan. Emiya eventually won the Grail with his Servant, Saber, who, according to Uncle Zelretch, was King Arthur. The two didn't get on well: he was a ruthless, pragmatic killer, and she was very much a chivalrous knight."

"Wait, she? King Arthur was a woman?" Harry demanded.

"Yep," Luna said with a small smile. "But Emiya, for some reason, destroyed the Grail. He forced Saber to do so, using his remaining Command Seals. Some thought it was out of revenge, as Irisviel had become the Grail, but Emiya knew about that. Others thought he was suborned by an unknown third party to spite the von Einzberns. Emiya was notoriously mercenary, after all. But Uncle Zelretch thinks that there may have been something actually wrong with the Grail itself, and Emiya wanted it destroyed to prevent some sort of disaster. Even so, the consequences were disastrous, to say the least. A massive fire broke out, killing hundreds. Emiya died five years ago of an unknown illness, despite trying and failing to retrieve his daughter by Irisviel. He has an adopted son called Shirou, whom he rescued from the fire caused by the Grail being destroyed. Both, Uncle Zelretch claimed, would get involved."

"…And now, _we're_ involved," Harry muttered.

"Well, look at it this way Harry. I get to do an exposé, you get to do your saving people thing, think of it as a working holiday."

Medusa shot Harry a sympathetic look. Even Medea looked sympathetic. Harry sighed quietly to himself. No rest for the wicked, and even less for the virtuous…

 **CHAPTER 2 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **A cyber-cookie goes to anyone who knows where I got the faux-ritual chant from used to summon Rider.**

 **In case you're wondering about Sakura, I've decided on her Servant: Assassin. Which one, of course, is another matter.**

 **1\. Luna (and her dark side) says this in my crossover with** ** _Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Puella Magi Luna Magica_** **. It sums her up pretty well.**

 **2\. A Maenad was one of the followers of Dionysus, or Bacchus. Their most infamous role in Greek myth was tearing Orpheus into pieces. Eris is the goddess of discord.**


	4. Chapter 3: A Deal with the Devil

**CHAPTER 3:**

 **A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL**

People made the mistake of assuming that Luna Lovegood was completely insane. In truth, it was a mite more complicated. She had what was to reality what a detached retina was to vision, and even that was a gross oversimplification. But she was not stupid, or else she wouldn't have made it into Ravenclaw. Rowena Ravenclaw, after all, was very much an intellectual elitist, and it was a relative fluke that a certain Gilderoy Lockhart made it into that House.

It was shortly she and Harry were consulting the local branch of Gringotts that she saw the girl who would become the next addition to their little improvised cadre. They were on their way back, with a big wad of Yen notes to give to the temple in exchange for their help, when they saw the two children, both teenagers, quarrelling. Well, it was a very one-sided argument. The girl was cringing away, while the boy was snarling at her.

She felt Harry tensing next to her. She knew he was seeing something not unlike his own relationship with his cousin, Dudley. Dudley, admittedly, had done very well with himself lately, having turned his life around from the arrogant bully he once was into a self-defence instructor of some note. Indeed, he and Harry were on speaking terms to some degree. But Harry still distanced himself from Dudley, and from his aunt (Vernon having died from a heart attack the previous year: Harry pissed on his grave). He never forgot the cupboard, the physical and psychological abuse, the Harry-Hunting.

And the boy just screamed of being like Draco Malfoy to her. Well, Draco before he got a clue and became less of an obnoxious little turd with a superiority complex, hiding behind daddy's skirt.

Luna gave his hand a squeeze briefly. When he looked at her, she mouthed, _I'll handle this_. Eventually, he nodded. He didn't see what she had. More than just the signs of abuse.

She could sense something foul within the girl. The girl herself was not innately foul…but she had been made empty, a broken vessel, something that had been filled with something vile. You could see it in her dead-looking eyes, her pretty features framed by a short bob of purple hair.

Discreetly, she cast a spell to analyse the girl as they approached. Almost immediately, she got a response back. It was worse than she ever feared. Crest Worms. Fucking _Crest Worms_ in a girl who couldn't be any older than 16. And they had been there for a long time.

People dismissed Luna as someone loopy and spaced out, someone who wouldn't hurt a fly. But this was a girl who was bullied throughout her time at Hogwarts, hiding the abuse under tales of Nargles. This was a girl who survived being a hostage, held prisoner in the basement of Malfoy Manor, subjected to the Cruciatus Curse, starved, beaten, threatened with rape (and barely avoiding that fate)…Luna Lovegood had seen darkness, and had some within her. And when the darkness came out, the Ravenclaw within got… _creative_. Like what happened to the Carrows when they escaped and tried to take revenge on her after the war. They were alive…but they certainly wished they weren't. Certainly what Luna did to them would make a Magi both impressed and frightened.

Uncle Zelretch was overjoyed by her birthday present to him, though.

The blue-haired boy was so busy trying to drag the girl along by the wrist, he didn't notice Harry and Luna come up until he was too late. "And what do you think you're doing?" Luna asked, her voice so cold, it could freeze the oxygen out of the air. The Translation Charm helped.

With more bravado than actual courage, the blue-haired boy snarled, "Mind your own business, foreigner!"

And then, the girl said something that made it worse, even if she was trying to make it better, not for herself, but for all other parties involved. "No, it's all right, really," she said.

"Not from where I'm standing," Harry said.

"It's a family matter," the boy snarled.

It was at that point that Luna decided she had enough. Normally, she wouldn't do this, but this boy was already proving by his actions and by the look on the girl's face that, if not actually deserving this, then arousing her ire and attention. She looked into his eyes, and snarled, quietly, " _Legilimens._ "

She was gentler than she really ought to have been, especially considering what she saw in his mind. He had no mental defences to speak of, and worse, he had no morals. She soon had names for the boy and the girl: Shinji and Sakura Matou. She knew that they were Magi, although Shinji was more of the Magi equivalent of a Squib. She had crimes to the former's name more vile than merely assaulting his (adopted) sister: he had raped her too. In spite of all her kindness to him, he treated her like shit.

Resisting the urge to tear his disgusting little mind several superfluous new rectal sphincters, Luna withdrew. Shinji, however, had noticed, and blinked. "What the hell was that? I know that spell, you're wizards! Filthy wizards!"

"Oh? Do you perhaps know the name 'Harry Potter'?" Harry asked, his voice downright cryogenic by this point. "Only, I'm right here. And I'm not happy."

Shinji's face paled, as did, albeit less noticeably, Sakura's. And it seemed that whatever contempt Shinji had for wizards was overridden by fear of Harry Potter. With a yelp of terror, he scampered away with his metaphorical tail between his legs, leaving his sister there. " _Shall I pursue, Harry?_ " Medusa asked, as she was currently astralized nearby. She had been glaring at Shinji with contempt throughout the brief confrontation. Medea was back at the temple.

Harry shook his head, imperceptibly. Instead, he smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring manner at Sakura. "Sorry about that. I just don't like people like him."

Sakura gave a rather mournful smile, the smile of someone who knew something worse awaited them at home. "It's okay. He's always like that."

"He may be always like that, but that doesn't mean it's okay," Harry said. "What's your name?"

"Sakura Matou. Are you really Harry Potter?"

"Yeah. Sorry, no autographs, had my fill of them. This is my wife, Luna Lovegood."

Sakura blinked. "I don't think I've been this close to a real-life hero before. Then again, one of my friends, Shirou, says he wants to be a hero one day."

"Highly overrated, being a hero," Harry said. "Long, thankless hours, no steady pay, lose your friends, gain enemies, and the less said about the demands for product and business endorsement, the better…"

* * *

In Diagon Alley, in Quality Quidditch Supplies, an enchanted portrait of Harry Potter said, with forced cheerfulness, his smile full more of teeth than good cheer, " _I'm Harry Potter, and this is my favourite store in Diagon Alley._ "

* * *

"Anyway," Luna said with a smile, "this is a kidnapping. We," she pointed to Harry and herself, "are kidnapping you."

"Oh," Sakura said flatly as Harry facepalmed. "Umm, should I start screaming?"

"If you must, but we'd appreciate it if you didn't. Actually, it isn't a kidnapping. Sorry, wrong choice of words. Like, from a legal perspective, it's a kidnapping, but from a moral perspective, it's a rescue mission."

"Luna," Harry said quietly in English, "why the hell are you doing this?"

Luna gave him a look. A _serious_ look. In English, she replied, "Because, Harry, not only did that blue-haired turd who makes Draco Malfoy look like a paragon of society rape her, but she was thrown into a pit of Crest Worms. Remember that tentacle porn Uncle Zelretch showed you once to freak you out? Imagine that, done by magic worms, to this girl since before she was six. Crest Worms feed on the bone marrow and other bits of men…but they actually eat the womb of women, as well as feeding on their carnal impulses. She was adopted by the Matous, Harry, and _they did_ _ **that**_ _to her_."

Harry was, understandably, horrorstruck and disgusted. Any sane person would be. And given his own experiences, he felt sympathy. Indeed, it made the cupboard under the stairs pall by comparison. " _Why?!_ " he hissed, in a tone that promised a slow, painful death to those who did this.

"Crest Worms are familiars, and can be used to enhance magic, grant the ability to use magic techniques. Even now, she has some of those worms as part of her to enhance her magecraft," Luna said. "It's still disgusting. Uncle Zelretch did tell me about the Matous and their familiars, but I didn't think they'd be so vile as to do it to a child so young."

"Umm…I need to get home soon," Sakura said, interrupting them, fidgeting. "Otherwise, Grandfather will get angry."

"He can **_be_** angry," Harry bit out. "Luna, should we stun her?"

The red jet of light had left Luna's wand before Sakura even realised what he had said. "We are so getting in trouble for this," Harry muttered.

"Better to ask for forgiveness than permission," Luna said grimly. "Medusa?"

Medusa nodded, materialising. They found, after a bit of experimentation, that Servants could Apparate if they were holding on to the one doing so, but they needed to be in physical form. Luna grabbed hold of Sakura before Apparating, while Medusa did the same to Harry before he Apparated…

* * *

Medea looked down at the now-sleeping form of Sakura Matou. They had used a sleeping spell on her once she arrived, and Medea was now using spells to determine if they could remove the Crest Worms or not.

After some time, by which time the sun had set, Medea said, "Normally, I would say removing these vile things is impossible. But given the amount of energy I am getting from you, Luna, it is not a matter of resources as much as time. I need time to devise the right ritual. And as I am shaping this temple into a territory that favours my magic and enhances it, I also need the time to bolster that. Otherwise, we might kill her. Or worse."

"What do you mean, worse?" Harry asked. "How the bloody hell can it be worse than tentacle rape worms being stuck in the body of this poor girl?!"

Medea looked at him. "There is something vile and tainted within her, Harry. In fact, it feels like the Grail to an extent, only corrupted. If I do things the wrong way, it could be unleashed. Given where we are, on the likely site for the Holy Grail's manifestation, that risk is significantly increased. I fear it may even manifest as a secondary personality. This is speculation based on a risk. If I didn't have enough energy, I wouldn't be able to discern this much."

"There's another factor," Luna said, looking serious. "Her grandfather. Or rather, the man…well, _thing_ calling himself her grandfather. Zouken Matou, formerly Zolgen Makiri. Think of him as like Voldemort, Harry, only he has no ideals for conquest or exterminating Muggles. He's merely obsessed with attaining immortality, no matter what the cost. The Crest Worms are how he has lived for centuries, jumping from body to body. I'm sure we'll have to deal with him sooner rather than later, given what we've done."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"She's their heir. Not of their blood: the Makiri bloodline has been losing magic for some time, producing the Magi equivalent of Squibs more and more, which was why they now call themselves Matou, to shake off some of the stigma. Shinji was the latest Squib. Sakura was given to them by the Tohsaka family, according to Shinji's memories."

There was a knock on the door, and then, Souichirou Kuzuki entered. The stoic, austere man, they had learned, was a local teacher, and was distantly aware of magic, despite being a Muggle. "Zouken Matou is just outside the temple grounds," he said. He noticed Sakura, and his eyes narrowed. "It seems he was telling the truth when he claimed you kidnapped his granddaughter."

Luna held up a finger. "Actually, it was an intervention. She's being abused at home."

Kuzuki's eyes narrowed even further, before he went over and examined her carefully. Harry got the feeling that he had been trained as more than just a teacher. There was something more than just stoicism in the man. "Do you teach her at your school?"

"No, I teach the year above her," Kuzuki said. "I've only seen her a few times, her and that brother of hers." His mouth twisted into a slight but noticeable scowl. "Even given her being abused, it's a matter for the police."

"Even if it involves having parasitic worms inside her?" Luna asked. "You know who and what we are. The police would have their memories erased, at best. Zouken Matou is a Magus. He'd keep this behind closed doors."

Kuzuki, after a moment, said, "Very well. But I expect you to sort this out with Zouken."

* * *

Standing on the steps leading to the temple was Zouken Matou. Harry and Luna had left Sakura in the care of Medea and Kuzuki, Medusa coming with them, albeit astralized. Harry found himself repulsed when he saw Zouken. On first appearance, he seemed like a frail, ancient man, wrinkled, bald, hunched over, and wearing old-fashioned Japanese apparel. But the sclera of his eyes were black, his irises white, and there was an overwhelming sense of something very nasty beneath the veneer. A sense of wrongness, that this wasn't really a man, merely a revenant whose time had passed long ago, and yet, he was still here.

"Ah, if it isn't the Boy Who Lived and his wife," Zouken said with a smile that had a lot of false cheer. It was like Umbridge, except without the throat-clearing and (thankfully) the eye-searing fuchsia cardigan. "I found it rather disconcerting that a wizard and a witch moved into my territory without notifying me."

"Actually, the owners of this land are the Tohsakas," Luna said. "We'll notify them in due course."

"Then perhaps you would be so kind as to tell me why you threatened my grandson and kidnapped my granddaughter."

Luna's eyes narrowed, as did Harry's. Harry knew that Luna was on the verge of giving Zouken the full brunt of her creativity. "You know why," Harry said coldly.

"And what business do British wizards have in interfering in the business of a Magus family?" Zouken asked mildly, but with an undertone of menace.

"I have a saving people thing. That's _my_ business," Harry said, itching to order Medusa to annihilate this decrepit old bastard.

Zouken, surprisingly, only grinned. "Perhaps I will forgive this insult to my family…in exchange for a deal. You're rather careless, as I can see your Command Seals. I was planning to have my granddaughter fight in the Grail War." His grin widened. Harry got the feeling something very nasty was wriggling behind it. "Get her to summon a Servant, help her win the Grail for me, and I will forgive this insult, even let you keep her."

" _He's lying_ ," Medusa said to Harry.

However, Harry and Luna shared a look, before Luna said, reluctantly, "We accept."

"Then do not fail me," Zouken said, his smile being more than a little nasty, and saying, though he didn't say it out loud, _Otherwise, I will make the Cruciatus Curse look like a mere tickle_. It was a _very_ expressive look. "A pleasure to meet you both, even if that is not reciprocated."

As he walked down the steps, Harry and Luna turned and went back to the temple. "He won't keep his word," Harry said quietly.

"Of course not," Luna said. "But we got him off our backs…for the moment." After a moment, she said, "We'd better stock up on Mortein(1), the Matous are known for using insect familiars to spy."

"How are we going to deal with him?"

"Uncle Zelretch," Luna said. "He will make that can of worms in the rough shape of a man wish for death."

"We've a habit of picking up strays," Harry muttered. "First Medea, now Sakura. What next?"

Luna shrugged. "I dunno. Let's find out…"

 **CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, here you have it. Sakura's joined Harry and Luna. Now, in case you're wondering why Zouken gave up so easily, he has a plan. He intends to have Harry and Luna do all the hard work to get the Grail while keeping Sakura safe, and THEN backstab them. He's making the most out of a bad situation, as he knows escalating it won't work. Given what he's done to Sakura, putting parts of the corrupted previous Grail into her, that's hardly surprising.**

 **Kuzuki and Medea won't be paired for this story. Sorry for you guys who love them together.**

 **Next chapter, Sakura summons her Servant, and Harry and Luna meet the idiot and the** ** _tsundere_** **…I mean, Shirou and Rin.**

 **1\. I don't know whether the pesticide Mortein is well known in the UK, but it's famous in Australia for the 'Louie the Fly' ads, written, believe it or not, by Bryce Courtenay.**


	5. Chapter 4: Hollow Girls, Tsundere

**CHAPTER 4:**

 **HOLLOW GIRLS, TSUNDERE MISSILE, AND WOULD-BE HERO**

Harry was reminded painfully of himself as he watched Sakura sing, at Luna's suggestion, _Everything You Know Is Wrong_ as part of her summoning ritual. That eager to please nature he once had, the pain hiding behind a pleasant façade. He didn't have eyes quite as dead as her own, true, and he hadn't gone through a tenth, no, a hundredth of what she had gone through. That she was even capable of rational thought or remotely human feeling was astonishing. But he had trodden a fraction of the path she had gone down.

Sakura, once she learned of the deal with her grandfather, seemed resigned to her fate to fight in the Grail War. As it was, she seemed cautiously optimistic about being with Harry and Luna: she had confessed to him in a slightly Ginny-like manner that she had considered him one of her heroes, and had actually held fantasies of him sweeping in to save her. Thankfully, she seemed to view him as the big brother she never had (that smarmy slimeball Shinji didn't count) or an uncle (she had mentioned, in passing, her uncle Kariya). Kuzuki opted to escort her to school each day: he became aware of what they were up to, and offered his services. He turned out to be a Squib who was trained by a group of assassins. He had no magic to his name, but he was an expert in unarmed combat. Medea decided, if Kuzuki ever needed to help them in earnest, she could use Reinforcement on his body to enhance his speed and strength.

It was two days after they retrieved Sakura that they began the summoning ritual, thankfully on Saturday. Harry had, by then, realised that Luna had trolled him with a ritual taken from Neil Gaiman's comic series _The Sandman_. Luna found the original ritual boring, and found that, as long as the right circle was prepared and a few extra catalysts were used, one could use just about any chant to summon a Servant (it was actually Zelretch's discovery). And Luna had been in the mood for Weird Al. Sakura not only had a good singing voice, but she could sing English pretty well.

 _Everything you know is wrong!_

 _Black is white, up is down, and short is long,_

 _And everything you used to think is so important_

 _Doesn't really matter anymore_

 _Because the simple fact remains that_

 _Everything you know is wrong!_

 _Just forget the words and sing along_

 _All you need to understand is_

 _Everything you know is wrong!_

 _Everything you know is wrong!_

Suddenly, the magic circle flared, filling the room with light and smoke. Kuzuki, who had been curious about the procedure, was present. He was also the first to see the Servant, though they all heard a rather young, if too old-sounding and too-knowing voice say, "Servant Assassin has answered your summons. I ask of you, are you my Master?"

They all stared at the figure revealed in the circle. It was short. Very short. It appeared to be a girl in her early teens. Her hair was white, her dead-looking eyes ash-grey, her admittedly cute face marred by a couple of scars. She was wearing a ragged cloak over very fetishistic clothing, clothing that even adults would be looked askance at wearing. On a child her age, it was obscene.

After an awkward moment, Sakura held up her hand, showing the Command Seals. "I am."

"…Can we get some clothes for her?" Harry asked. "Please?"

Sakura nodded. "Medea?" she asked. She knew Caster's real name.

Medea waved a hand, murmuring a few words in ancient Greek, and soon, the girl in front of them was wearing black jeans and an equally black shirt. Assassin pouted. "Why did you let the mean hag do that, Mummy?" she asked Sakura.

"Mummy?" Sakura asked, with a blink.

"Mean hag?" Medea asked in a more dangerous tone of voice.

"You're my Mummy, aren't you?" Assassin said. "If you're my Master, you're my Mummy."

"So, who's she meant to be?" Harry asked, warily.

Luna peered at her, before saying, "Jack the Ripper."

The silence that followed was broken by Medusa saying, "What."

"Yeah, I agree. _This_ is Jack the Ripper?" Harry asked. "I thought Jack the Ripper was a man. Now that I come to mention it, how do you know who she is, Luna?"

"Oh, my mum willed me her eyes, and I got them after the accident that killed her," Luna said. "They're Mystic Eyes. They were a prototype designed to discern who the Servants were when they're summoned. The von Einzberns developed them for the next Grail War. Unfortunately, there were side effects they couldn't tolerate. That's why they sold Mummy off to my Daddy. Anyway, Jackie here was the unwanted child of a prostitute. She wanted to return to her mother's womb. Hence cutting all those poor women open. She's a bit on the androphobic side, though, Harry, so give her a little space."

Sakura, however, after a moment's hesitation, walked over and hugged the little girl. It seemed that broken souls recognised each other. As they did so, Harry remarked, "Am I the only one uncomfortable with sharing living space with Jack the Ripper?"

"No," Medusa and Medea chorused. Kuzuki didn't offer an opinion one way or another, merely being stoic.

"Aww, but she's so cute!" Luna complained. She joined Sakura in hugging Jack the Ripper, who seemed bemused at the whole thing.

* * *

It was later that Saturday that, having sent a courtesy letter with Sakura to school to give to Rin Tohsaka, the girl herself made an appearance. Dressed in a red shirt with a cross emblem on the front, a dark and rather short skirt, her dark hair was done in twin pigtails. She also had the bossiness of Hermione, some of the haughtiness of a Malfoy, and the bad temper of Molly Weasley. A bad combination.

They met just outside the temple, Harry, Luna, and Sakura facing Rin, their Servants currently astralized. Rin glared at them. "I don't know whether to be angry about the Boy Who Lived and 'Looney' Lovegood coming to Fuyuki without seeking permission, or…glad that you got Sakura away from those people."

"Blame Zelretch," Harry said automatically.

"…Why would I blame that vampire?"

"He's my honorary uncle," Luna said with a smile.

After a moment, Rin said, " _What_."

"He's my honorary uncle. The Wrackspurts must really be affecting you," Luna said.

After a moment of staring, Rin finally said, pinching the bridge of her nose, "Please don't tell me you know the White Princess of the True Ancestors."

"Big sister Arc? Okay, I won't tell you," Luna said with a winning smile.

"Big…sister…Arc?" Rin asked, slowly and disbelievingly. "You think of Arcueid Brunested, the White Princess of the True Ancestors, as a big sister. _What_."

Harry sighed. "That's not so bad. Believe me, you should have been there when Luna took me to meet Altrouge and Primate Murder. I drank a LOT of Firewhiskey afterwards. Little pro-tip? Do NOT piss your pants in front of Primate Murder if you can help it. The smell of urine only makes it more murderous than usual."

"You sound like you speak from experience," Rin snarked.

"Oh yeah. But you try not pissing yourself in front of Primate Murder. It's VERY hard."

"Hopefully, I'll never have to worry about encountering the Beast of Gaia," Rin said, shuddering at the very thought.

"And that's far from the weirdest thing Luna's dragged me to," Harry said. "Actually, there was that guy, looked like a girl, purple hair…" Harry frowned. _Looked like Medusa, actually_ , he thought to himself with sudden realisation. Out loud, he said, "Went by the name of Black Wing. Turned out he was me from an alternate reality, and was adopted by the Zelretch of that reality(1). Freaked me the fuck out. Not sure why, and I don't think I want to know."

"Well, it wasn't the Blinovitch Limitation Effect(2)," Luna said with a smile. "That only works with time travel."

"…And here I was thinking that the rumours about Lovegood were highly exaggerated," Rin said bleakly. "They were _understated_." After a moment, she sighed. "Fine, I'll tolerate your presence here. But on sufferance. You may not know it, but I've heard that the Holy Grail War is to begin again soon. I would suggest keeping your heads down when it happens."

 _That sound you hear_ , Harry thought to himself, _is the sound of my irony meter exploding_. Out loud, he said, "Aren't you going to say anything to your sister?"

"It's fine, Mr Potter," Sakura said, in a both happy and melancholy tone that actually hid the truth quite well.

After a while, Rin said, "Give me time, okay? I just…I need to get some things straight in my head first, okay? But you'd better look after her, and don't try anything funny, or I'll be coming for you!"

"Look, Rin, I faced down Voldemort, met Primate Murder, and am on speaking terms with two of the most powerful vampires in the world. Compared to all that, a _tsundere_ teenage Magus doesn't even come close to scaring me," Harry said. Sakura had mentioned the Japanese term while discussing what she knew of her sister. "We'll look after her all the same." He then narrowed his eyes. "Better than _you_ ever have."

It was, frankly, a low blow. Rin wasn't a bad person by any means, but she was prideful and prickly, to say the least. So Harry felt a pang of guilt when Rin angrily turned away before they could see her tears, and stormed away. After the uncomfortable silence that followed, Harry muttered, "Sorry, Sakura. I shouldn't blame your sister for something your father did."

"I forgive you," Sakura said, though something in her tone suggested that her forgiveness wasn't something to be taken for granted. And to be fair, there was some small bitterness in Sakura towards Rin, for the fact that Rin didn't really acknowledge their relationship, let alone give anything other than token kindnesses. Sakura held out hope, though, that Rin would acknowledge that she was her sister. Rin's words were slightly encouraging at least.

* * *

On Sakura's suggestion, the three of them went to the house of the one person Sakura could call a friend indisputably the next morning for breakfast. Caster, who usually stayed at the temple to work, decided to come with them if only to see what the adopted son of the Magus Killer was like. The Servants remained astralized, as usual when they walked abroad. Sakura had noted that it was probably just as well that Shirou's guardian and English teacher, a notorious mooch called Taiga Fujimura, was currently bedridden with the flu.

The boy who answered the door was about sixteen or seventeen, with short red hair, green eyes, and an earnest expression. "Oh, hi Sakura! Are these the people you're living with at the temple?"

"Yes, Shirou. This is Harry Potter, and his wife, Luna Lovegood."

The boy invited them in, and as he bustled around cooking, Shirou said, "I think my father may have mentioned you a couple of times, Mr Potter."

"Harry, please," Harry said. "What did your father say about me?"

"Not much, though he had to explain to me the difference between Magi and wizards," Shirou said. "A lot of it went over the top of my head, I'm afraid. But he told me how some psycho wanted you dead, and that you were called the Boy Who Lived. Sakura, frankly, told me more about who you were. You're a real hero, apparently."

Harry scoffed at the admiration in Shirou's tone. "I'm no hero. I was some poor bastard suckered into the job by one of the few genuine prophecies uttered by a drunkard, and had a psychotic wizard with an unhealthy fixation on stopping what he viewed as miscegenation come after me when I was one. A lot of my life was stage-managed by an old fool who admittedly had the best of intentions, but who basically sodomised my life badly, with his greatest sin believing that I should grow up safe rather than happy. People call me a hero, but I don't think they would have liked to live my life. If my life is anything like what a hero's life should be, I wouldn't wish it on…well, anyone who isn't an enemy. And more than a few have called me a villain or an attention whore. Oh, I got plenty of gratitude in the end, so I can't say it's thankless, but it's hard, arduous, painful, and quite frankly, it breaks you. And do you know what breaks you most, what the hardest lesson of all to grasp is?" After a moment, Harry said, "You can't save everyone. No matter how hard you try, you can't. It's best to save who you can."

The silence that followed, thick and heavy, was interrupted by a proclamation, quiet, but carrying no less weight for it, from Shirou. "I don't care. That's not what I promised my father. I want to ensure there's a world where the few don't die for the many. That is my dream, the ideal I inherited from my father. And…why are you laughing?"

For, indeed, Harry was laughing. Softly. Bitterly. _Merlin, it's like looking into a fucking mirror_ , he thought to himself. _Was I ever that stupid? I may not quite have shared the same ideals, but I was certainly as naïve_. Out loud, he said, "Sorry. The world must look very different to the young. I know, that's an odd statement for me to make, when I'm only about, what, seven, eight years older than you? And your father…you've got to remember, Shirou, that he wasn't the best of men. From what I heard, he was a ruthless pragmatist, someone filled with self-loathing at what he did. And, well, did he ever tell you about the Holy Grail War?" Seeing Shirou's blank look, Harry sighed. "He must've thought he was protecting you. But something tells me you've got my luck. You're probably going to get drawn into this if that's the case. And I'll be damned if I let you get drawn in blindly."

"He's got his saving people thing going again," Luna remarked in a stage whisper to Sakura, who actually chuckled. Harry didn't think this was a laughing matter, though. After all, if Shirou got drawn into this, he could die, especially if he had a saving people thing even worse than Harry did. So, Harry decided he needed a helping hand…

 **CHAPTER 4 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, Harry's met Rin and Shirou, and Sakura has Jack the Ripper as a Servant. Now, some of you might be thinking I'm bashing Rin. I have to be honest, what I've seen of her doesn't really endear her to me. I'm not actually going to bash her per se, but Harry and Luna's relationship with her won't be that good for a while. Rin's a good person in the end, I know this.**

 **Incidentally, the song lyrics come from** ** _Everything You Know is Wrong_** **by Weird Al Yankovic. I don't own the lyrics, obviously, but it seems like the sort of song Luna would have on her iPod.**

 **Wow, only two days and already it's gotten 7000 views. And 38 reviews as well. Something tells me this baby will surpass** ** _Verdant Magic_** **and** ** _Haemophilia_** **as one of my most popular works. Also, kudos to the people who spotted the** ** _Mass Effect_** **reference.**

 **Review-answering time!** **Reishin Amara** **: I honestly don't know what'll happen to Shinji in this story, but it probably won't be good.**

 **Thundramon** **: While Harry as a Heroic Spirit/Servant has merit, I decided to stick with those done by Type-Moon.**

 **Mangahero18** **: They probably wouldn't recognise each other on sight, but they would recognise the legends. That being said, Medea met Heracles in myth: she helped heal him from a curse Hera put on him.**

 **Zane Tribal Tyne Alexandros** **: Glad you enjoyed it. And I actually thought, different systems of magic aside, that the main difference between Potterverse wizards and Nasuverse Magi is that the Magi are slightly more modern and, on the whole, more amoral. I presume you meant a deity from the Elder Scrolls games.**

 **MKTerra** **: Only four dimensions? Luna thinks in a lot of different dimensions at once.**

 **Chronofury** **: Yes, you got it right, and you were the only one to do so. The ritual is indeed based on the one Roderick Burgess uses to try and trap Death of the Endless, only to get Dream. That's in the very first issue of** ** _The Sandman_** **: namely** ** _Sleep of the Just_** **.**

 **1\. Black Wing is the Harry Potter of Lupine Horror's** ** _Fate's Gamble_** **. I notified him during the writing of this chapter, and he was fine with it.**

 **2\. The Blinovitch Limitation Effect is a fictional law of time travel in** ** _Doctor Who_** **. It's actually a set of laws, one of which is that past and future versions of the same person can't meet. Otherwise, there's the risk of an explosion, as demonstrated rather dramatically at the end of Mawdryn Undead, where two versions of the Brigadier encounter each other, with explosive results.**


	6. Chapter 5: Life Lessons

**CHAPTER 5:**

 **LIFE LESSONS**

Shirou frowned as he and Harry washed up the dishes after breakfast. "So, let me get this straight. Every sixty years, a tournament is held between Magi in this city, a tournament over an artifact that can grant wishes. The next one might be only weeks away, despite it only being ten years since the last one. And my father was involved in the last one?"

"Yeah."

"And the fire, the fire he rescued me from…he caused it?"

"Not on purpose, or rather, he didn't want the fire to happen due to what he did. If anything, he was trying to prevent a worse calamity from hitting, so Zelretch reckoned," Harry said.

"Zelretch?"

"He's a vampire, one of the top Magi in Clock Tower, and master of Kaleidoscope, a magic involving parallel worlds," Harry said. "You said when we were discussing this that you had no memories before the fire. Maybe something rather nasty and magical took them away."

Shirou looked disturbed. "But…to fight to the death, even over something like the Holy Grail…"

"Shirou, to many Magi, to obtain the Heaven's Feel would be worth any cost," Harry said. "Don't get me wrong, I agree with you. It's a stupid waste of life, simply because killing off Masters is allowed, albeit as an unspoken rule. It's not something Luna or I would do. Not unless the Master was as vile as Caster's first Master apparently was, anyway."

"So, where are your Servants, anyway?"

"Servants have the ability to astralize. That means they become spiritual bodies, and thus cause less of a drain on their Masters, though Luna and I are less of a problem, because we're wizards. Our magic seems to be more agreeable to fuelling Servants." He looked over at Luna and Sakura, who were looking on, and where their Servants were. "Ladies? Please come on out."

Medea, Medusa, and Jack the Ripper appeared, the former two in their normal costumes (though Medea had her hood down on Luna's request). Jackie (as they began to call her) wore the cloak over her modern clothes. Shirou blinked. "They're…all girls."

"Caster and Rider are well-known figures from myth, known to be women, while Assassin, well, sometimes history gets distorted after the fact. Take your father's Servant, Saber. Have you ever heard of King Arthur?"

"Of course."

"Well, believe it or not, Arthur was actually a woman called Arturia," Harry said. "It's a long story, and I was astonished myself when I first heard that. Saber was also the only female Servant in the previous Grail War, unless one of the aspects of the Assassin in that war counted. Supposedly, the Assassin was the Hundred-Faced Hassan, with multiple entities, including a female one."

"From what Uncle Zelretch told me, the Berserker was Lancelot. The Rider was Iskander, or Alexander the Great as we would know him in Britain. The Archer was Gilgamesh. The Caster was Gilles de Rais, aka Bluebeard. And last, but not least, you have Diarmuid Ua Duibhne as Lancer," Luna said.

"At the moment, we're keeping their real identities from you, the ones here I mean," Harry said. "One thing is that Servants generally keep their identities concealed, in order to keep their best known abilities and possible weaknesses a secret. Luna tells me that their most potent abilities frequently rest in their artifacts, known as Noble Phantasms. Arturia had quite a few, though the most powerful, obviously, was Excalibur. Reports of Gilgamesh's abilities suggested he used a Noble Phantasm known as the Gate of Babylon, by which he opens up holes in space to his 'treasury', filled with Noble Phantasms, and hurls them at his enemies by his will."

"In other words, he spams magical weapons at people and hopes for the best," Luna said. "It's more effective than it sounds, though. A blizzard of ancient and powerful weapons could turn you into mince too easily."

Shirou winced. Medea, meanwhile, frowned thoughtfully. "Boy…what magecraft have you actually learned?"

Struck by the question, Shirou admitted, with some embarrassment, "Umm, not a lot. Structural Analysis, Projection, and Reinforcement. Dad didn't teach me a lot before he died."

Medea pursed her lips. "Show me. Activate your Magic Circuits."

After a moment, Shirou nodded. But the moment he did, concealing a flinch of pain, Medea's eyes widened, her mouth gaping in sheer shock. " _You imbecile!_ You've turned your nerves into makeshift Magic Circuits! You do that each and every time, don't you?"

"But that was the way my father taught me," Shirou protested.

"Then his brain rotted along with his body, or else he did so deliberately," Medea said. "I personally would put money on the latter."

"Don't talk about my father like that!" Shirou snapped.

"No, I see Caster's point," Luna said. "Turning your nerves into Magic Circuits is painful and dangerous, isn't it? I think Kiritsugu was trying to _deter_ Shirou from using magecraft. It makes senses: Magi are notoriously amoral at best, present company excepted. In such a world, you'd be eaten alive, Shirou. Your father may have only taught you limited magecraft to protect you."

"There may be another factor," Medea said, still frowning thoughtfully. "Each Magus has an elemental affinity and origin. That may also hamper your ability to use magecraft beyond certain abilities. I propose both finding out how many Magic Circuits you actually have besides those improvised ones, as well as your affinity and origin. Once that's done, I can awaken the Magic Circuits you have, though it's a painful process. I daresay you're used to that, though."

Shirou scowled slightly, a bit annoyed at how his father had been bad-mouthed, before he nodded. "If it'll help me…do it."

Medea nodded, before she gently began intoning syllables in ancient Greek. After a few seconds of that, she said, "The analysis will take a while, Shirou. I am sorry to shatter your preconceptions about your father. He had a habit of doing the wrong things for the right reasons, though at least that was to try and protect you. Should you have been dragged into the Holy Grail War, though, it might have gotten you killed."

Shirou nodded, accepting Medea's assessment reluctantly. "You don't like him, do you?"

Harry spoke up, having finished the dishes. "The Magus Killer, as we know of him, was a ruthless man. You knew him when he had realised where his ideals had led him, by all accounts. His wife dead, his daughter separated from him…"

"Wait, daughter? He has a daughter? I have a sister?"

"Yes. His Homunculus wife, Irisviel von Einzbern, had a child, Illyasviel," Luna said. "I'm guessing she'd be about nineteen now, but half-Homunculi tend to have strange growth patterns. My mother had to modify me so that I could grow properly. I don't know that much about her, though. Uncle Zelretch mentioned her in passing when I was talking about coming to Fuyuki."

Shirou, after a moment, had his eyes widen in realisation. "He used to disappear overseas for weeks at a time," Shirou said. "I think I once saw that he had a ticket to Germany, and you told me when you were telling me about the Grail that the von Einzberns come from Germany."

Harry nodded. "He might have been trying to retrieve your sister from the von Einzberns. By all accounts, your father was a ruthless man, but not actually a heartless one. Or rather, he deliberately made himself heartless, to try and make a better world. Apparently his actions tore him up inside. That's why he adopted you, because at the end of the Grail War, he had almost nothing left." Then, a thought occurred to him. "Shit."

"What?" Luna asked.

"What's the odds that Illyasviel will be sent here to fight?"

"Sadly, very good. The von Einzberns, by all accounts, were furious when Emiya destroyed the Grail," Luna said. "As he's dead, they'd probably want to target Shirou, regardless of whether he's a Master or not."

"But why?! I had nothing to do with it!" Shirou protested.

"I don't think they'd care, boy," Medea said. "Humans in general have the most extraordinary capacity for vindictiveness. I speak from personal experience. Magi can be even more so."

Luna nodded. "The von Einzberns are proud, arrogant, and they were one of the founders of the Grail Wars. To have the Grail so close, and then snatched away from them…apparently the wish itself didn't concern them. It was more the fact that the Grail was meant to be a way to the Root of All Things, Akasha. All knowledge and experience of everything that ever was, the ultimate Noosphere, if you will. Knowledge is power, and with that much up for grabs, is it any wonder they're so obsessed?" An impish smile came over her face. "If Rowena Ravenclaw knew about the Grail, she would have had an orgasm just from knowing about it."

Medea frowned. "As I believe they say in the modern vernacular, Luna, TMI." She then blinked. "Ah, the spell is finished. And…oh. Oh my. There is bad news, Shirou, and there is good news. The bad news is, due to your affinity and origin, you probably will not be able to use much magecraft beyond what you already know. Those factors prevent you from being anything other than an extreme specialist."

"And the good news? I mean, what is my affinity and origin?"

"They're both the same. _Sword_."

Harry blinked, confused. "Sword? How can his elemental affinity be Sword?"

Medusa, who had been silent for most of this, asked, "Does this mean he is an Incarnation?"

Medea nodded in response to her fellow Greek legend. "An element can be anything a human mind can conceive, Harry. True, the five elements are far more common, but others are not unheard of. The fact that he is an Incarnation of Sword means that his magecraft is highly specialised…but it can be, given the right training, extremely powerful."

Sakura looked over at Shirou. "That's great, Shirou," she said with her lugubrious smile. "Caster, did you find any proper Magic Circuits?"

"Yes. Twenty-seven high quality Circuits, each capable, given time and training, to reach roughly fifty units each of output. If we awaken them now, though, they won't be capable of more than ten units of output," Medea said. "Even so, it's better than these makeshift ones you create every time you use magecraft. You risk killing yourself in a most undignified and painful fashion every time."

"I'm used to it," Shirou said.

"That's what worries me," Medea said dryly. "Awakening your innate Magic Circuits will be very painful, but I think you're used to that."

"Keep in mind, Shirou, we're telling you this as a precautionary measure," Harry said. "Luna's in this to write about the Grail War, and I'm here to try and prevent as much trouble as I can. We also want to find out exactly why your father destroyed the Grail ten years ago, because if it was tainted somehow, then it may still be dangerous. Besides, wish-granting artifacts tend to be too good to be true. We're telling you this because, while you shouldn't be fighting in the Grail War, there's a possibility that you'll end up in it anyway, especially if your luck's anything like mine. And believe me, I've been there before, chucked in the deep end, having to sink or swim. It's not something you should go through. I had a lot of information kept from me, information that could have stopped some good people from dying."

He remembered Sirius, falling through the Veil, smashed through by a curse from Bellatrix Lestrange. He thought of Remus and Tonks, together in death. He thought of Snape, his neck savaged by Nagini, a man who was on the side of good for selfish reasons, and yet, he was no coward. Not where it truly counted, anyway. He thought of Fred Weasley, killed while expressing astonishment at his older brother Percy, an infamous agelast, making a joke. He thought of Dobby, Bellatrix Lestrange's knife impaling him. How many of those deaths could have been prevented, if Dumbledore hadn't kept his cards so close to his bloody chest?

"Anyway," Harry said, shaking himself from his reverie, "we'll be keeping an eye on things. The Grail War proper is yet to begin. But when it does, and if you get caught up in it, we'll do what we can to get you through intact."

Shirou nodded. He seemed so trusting of people, Harry reflected. One day, that was probably going to get him hurt or killed. But Harry was going to do his utmost to prevent that from happening…

* * *

The next couple of weeks, after Shirou awoke his Circuits, were spent helping him refine his magecraft, with Sakura being something of a help: the two were good friends, after all, though Shirou seemed oblivious to Sakura actually wanting to be closer than friends.

It also seemed that Harry's angry remark to Rin had done some small good: Rin was making a greater effort to reach out to Sakura. It was still only a relatively small effort, but it was going some way to mend bridges between the two. Rin did this at school: she steadfastly refused to meet with Harry and Luna.

Harry, Luna, and Sakura grew closer, as did their Servants. Indeed, it seemed like the Servants and their Masters were becoming a family unit, with Harry and Luna, along with Medea and Medusa, the parents, and Sakura (despite being less than a decade their junior) and Jackie the children. Kuzuki was the grim but protective uncle of the group.

Luna kept on making jokes that Harry and she were building a harem, much to Harry's embarrassment. He had to admit, Medusa, once you got past her quiet and sinister demeanour, was actually quite nice. So too was Medea. Sometimes, Harry and Luna would go for walks with their Servants, and just talk about their lives. Medea had been a bit more hesitant than Medusa to talk about her life, but considering how much she got screwed over by the Olympians and by Jason, Harry was willing to give her another chance. She seemed to appreciate this. Although known as the Witch of Betrayal, the fact that she was given a kindness by a random stranger (and there were fewer more random than Luna) had allowed Medea to shed some of the weight of her reputation.

Medusa, meanwhile, spoke wistfully of her sisters, Euryale and Stheno, and contemptuously about Perseus. Admittedly, he was trying to save his mother from an unwanted marriage, but Medusa saw only an unbridled arrogance when he finally came, mixed in with understandable fear at confronting her. The fact that Athena had helped him obtain the items he needed to kill her annoyed her no end. And it was the Olympians who turned Medusa, actually a goddess of beauty created from the minds of humanity, into a monster.

Medea and Medusa bonded over being women of Greek myth, screwed over by gods and heroes alike. And considering Harry got screwed over by fate as much as they had, it helped them bond to him as well. And Luna? Well, behind her eccentricity, she was very likeable. Few just took the chance to get to know her.

Sakura, gradually, began to open up. While she was dimly aware that she might be forced to go back to the Matous, she also knew that Luna and Harry would fight every step of the way for her, something she thought nobody else would ever do. The last time someone had tried to fight for her, her adoptive uncle Kariya, he had failed miserably, and in her sorrow and despair, with her hope lost, she called him a fool as she watched him die(1). Now, she had some hope again. Dangerous and insidious, but it was hope, something Harry and Luna didn't want to see crushed.

Jackie had grown on them. She was closest to Sakura, Luna, and Medusa, though wary around Harry and Kuzuki, and sometimes petulant towards Medea. However, Harry grew accustomed to having Jackie around, once you got past the creepy child vibes. She even allowed him to hug her a couple of times, and as long as he didn't end up with a knife between his ribs, he'd indulge her.

Their family, then, was an accretion of the broken and the odd. And they were happy, even knowing that the Grail War was on the horizon. However, not long before the Grail War proper seemed set to begin, a new complication had arisen. Jackie and Kuzuki were the ones who brought this to their attention. They were, after all, the ones who found the Irish woman, recently bereft of her arm…

 **CHAPTER 5 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, here you have it. Harry giving some life lessons to Shirou (though whether they'll stick is another matter entirely), and Shirou learning some hard truths about how his father taught him magecraft. While Kiritsugu was well-intentioned in that regard, he should have taken the possibility that the von Einzberns could have tried to take revenge via Shirou, Grail War or not, into consideration.**

 **Next chapter, Bazett, plus the first appearances of Archer, Lancer, and Saber…**

 **Incidentally, some of you want the Saber of this war to NOT be Arturia. Unfortunately, you will be disappointed. Leaving aside that there are a number of reasons why Shirou would summon Arturia as Saber (or any other Servant that she can manifest as), Harry and Arturia will have a lot to talk about. They're both chosen ones, manipulated by wizards into fulfilling a destiny, and Harry, like Arturia in** ** _Fate/Zero_** **, would desire a do-over with the Grail. Harry will be instrumental, along with Shirou, in steering Arturia away from her desire to have someone replace her as king with the Grail wish. If Shirou is the light in the darkness leading Arturia away from making a bad decision, Harry is rather like Kiritsugu, if Kiritsugu was more sympathetic: cynical, but supportive. There's even a brief speech in an upcoming chapter where Harry, while pointing out Kiritsugu had a point in that heroes leading people into so-called glorious battle are part of the problem of humanity, he also points out that heroes actually inspire people to do better, and that Harry actually never thought of Arturia as anything less than a hero.**

 **Review-answering time!** **Guest** **(regarding Luna playing with horrors summoned by Prelati's Spellbook): She'd probably make them into pets.**

 **1\. Although I'm yet to watch** ** _Fate/Zero_** **, I heard about this scene. I wanted to put the best possible interpretation on what happened when Sakura called him a fool, that she did so because she was giving in to despair.**


	7. Chapter 6: Bad Luck of the Irish, and of

**CHAPTER 6:**

 **BAD LUCK OF THE IRISH…AND OF EMIYA AND POTTER TOO…**

"I found her in an abandoned building," Kuzuki said, looking grimly down at the unconscious woman who they had laid out on a bed. She was young, with boyishly-short red hair, formerly dressed in a neat suit (which had been removed to deal with her injury). Medea was tending to her. "It wasn't far from a church, now that I come to think about it. Someone left her to die. I only found her because Assassin came to me while you were on your errands."

Jackie had been sent to do some scouting, while Medea and Medusa guarded Harry, Luna, and Sakura while they visited Shirou for another weekend discussion. Kuzuki was relaxing, as best as a stoic man and former assassin like himself could, back at the temple when Jackie came back, having been told to look for any strange deaths or injuries to people in the area.

"They healed her just enough so she wouldn't die immediately of exsanguination," Medea said. "But there are traces of magecraft. I think they made sure she would die over a long period. There's a curse on her, several in fact. Tricky to heal, but the one that concerns me affects the memory. It is like a Memory Charm. And there's some remaining magic traces in her that concern me."

"What do you mean?" Luna asked.

"I'd have to use a stronger analysis spell to know for sure, but I think she had Command Seals. I think she was a Master, but someone surprised her and confiscated her arm, and thus the Command Seals with them," Medea said. "And they erased part of her memory to cover their tracks. They deliberately left her to die slowly and painfully. I'm not sure even I was this vicious or cruel."

"Maybe Uncle Zelretch can identify her. She looks familiar. I think I might have met her once in Clock Tower." Luna pulled out a mobile phone, dialled a number no sane person would have, and waited. After a moment, she said, "Uncle? Yes, I know, I don't call often. Listen, do you know of any Clock Tower Magi who have gone missing lately, or who might have come to Fuyuki? I mean, other than the one who was Medea's Master." Her face became grim as she listened to Zelretch. "Does she have red hair? Okay, that's definitely her. Only, she's had her arm cut off. Yes, I know, that's what Medea thought, and she's had her memories stolen to boot. Yes, we'll keep an eye on her." She frowned as she heard something else. "That's…disturbing. We'll have to keep an eye on him. No, we won't confront him. Yes, I'll let you know. Bye."

"What did he say?" Sakura asked, still slightly awestruck that Luna had Zelretch as an honorary uncle.

"Her name is Bazett Fraga McRemitz," Luna said. "And apparently she intended to summon Lancer for this war. She wanted a specific Lancer, too: Sétanta, better known as Cú Chulainn, and took a catalyst capable of summoning him. While we don't know who did this, Zelretch did point out that she was a friend of Kirei Kotomine. And he's the Holy Church's appointed mediator of this Grail War. What's more, he was the Master of Assassin in the previous Grail War, according to Uncle Zelretch. I don't know whether he is innocent or guilty in doing anything to Bazett, but I think we should be careful."

"I heard that we have to visit the mediator in order to register who we were and what Servant we summoned," Sakura said with a frown.

"Then we'll do it with a phone call, always assuming he has a phone," Harry said. "Or else we'll go together."

"No, I think he has to see our Command Seals. It's part of the rules," Sakura said. "Grandfather told me. Of course, the way he spoke, I think he was going to get me to give my Servant to Shinji."

"He could do that?" Harry asked.

"We have an artifact, a Mystic Code called the Book of False Attendant. It basically gives the wielder Command Seals to use without being an actual Master," Sakura said. "It also binds the Servant to that secondary Master, but without the drain on their magic. My brother didn't have magic. I think that's why he was so jealous of me."

"If we have to see this guy, we do it together," Harry said. "No sense in taking chances."

* * *

They decided to go together, but one thing they agreed to was to not mention Bazett to Kirei, in case he was the one responsible for the attack on her, and might decide to finish the job. Certainly Bazett being found close to the church where Kirei resided was a point out of favour with him. Better, Harry thought, to prepare for the worst, while hoping for the best. The Servants were to remain astralized, but ready to materialise at a moment's notice, should things go bad.

Kirei turned out to be a rather handsome man in his thirties or forties, with a deep, soothing voice and a semi-paternal air. But there was something just off about his demeanour, though Harry wondered whether that was his paranoia talking. "Well, three Masters in alliance, it seems," he said. "With no less august a personage than Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, and his wife, Luna Lovegood. You opened up quite the can of worms by taking in young Sakura Matou, pun intended. But I have my own issues with the head of the Matou family. We are not exactly on the best of terms. I wonder, have you done a deal with him?"

"I'm sure Zouken is as willing to renege on it as I am," Harry said.

"The Boy Who Lived, going back on his word?" Kirei asked, as if shocked and offended. "Then again, perhaps you are learning."

"I've _learned_. Past tense," Harry said. "I'm trying to ensure that this little fracas doesn't cause too much death. I'd want as many Masters as possible to survive."

Kirei chuckled. "An admirable goal, but in previous Grail Wars, half the Masters died at the very least. And this one may be bloodier yet still, and soon to start. Indeed, to my knowledge, the only Servants yet to be summoned are Archer and Saber. Please, show me your Command Seals."

They did so as one. As Kirei peered at them, Luna said, "You're infested with Wrackspurts."

"I believe a more correct term is anticipation, and yet, doubt," Kirei replied smoothly. "Still, the forms have been observed. You are indeed Masters in the Holy Grail War. You have met one of my students, Miss Rin Tohsaka. She complained about you and your wife, Mr Potter, in a most amusing manner. I think you touched a nerve when you made more of an effort to save Sakura than she was able to, though you should not judge her too harshly. Her father, the late and lamented Tokiomi Tohsaka, had all but signed a treaty with the old worm when Sakura here was handed over to the Matous. Rin was bound by that, and so her options were admittedly limited. It takes a wild card such as yourself, Mr Potter, to cut through the Gordian Knot, so to speak." He then emitted a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked.

"Oh, I remembered who cut the Gordian Knot. Iskander, better known in the West as Alexander the Great. You do know he was the Rider of the previous Grail War, Servant to the current Lord El-Melloi, once known as Waver Velvet, don't you? Though Velvet didn't actually kill his predecessor, a rather obnoxious man by the name of Kayneth, he did fill dead man's shoes. Food for thought."

"And here I was thinking Luna had her macabre moments," Harry said.

"As a priest, I have to think about every aspect of life, including the most sordid. Indeed, it is our mission to bring light into the darkness."

"That's what a Lumos spell is for," Luna said with a smile.

"…Indeed," Kirei said, thrown off-balance for the first time since they met him. They left soon after. Though Harry couldn't help but feel that they were being watched…

* * *

Indeed they were. Upon hearing word from Kirei that someone potentially interesting was coming, Gilgamesh, the King of Heroes, had been observing from the shadows, keeping out of sight. Dressed in simple, casual clothes, he looked like a young man in his twenties, golden hair framing a handsome, if cruel and arrogant visage, with red eyes glinting as they watched.

His first impression was that Kirei had wasted his time. However, given what Kirei had told him about the Boy Who Lived, he continued to watch from the shadows. In the end, only the most paltry of interests had been sparked, though that was better than most in this day and age.

Potter had a slender chance of becoming a Heroic Spirit, he supposed. He had the air of someone weary, and wary, and yet helping others in a foolishly quixotic fashion. There was something in those emerald orbs, however, that reminded him somewhat of his prideful little Arturia. A small part of him idly wondered whether Potter was descended from Arturia. Not that that would mean much.

Still, assuming Kirei wasn't lying, Potter had gone through quite a lot, which itself was enough to hold some minuscule interest. And Potter did hold himself in a manner that was like a warrior. And he had such an odd wife. What in the name of that accursed harlot Ishtar was a Wrackspurt?

Gilgamesh sighed. He was going to go and drink some good wine while waiting for the real fun to begin…

* * *

A couple of days later, on a Monday, Harry and Luna were invited, along with Sakura, to have some dinner with Shirou. The young would-be Magus was doing fairly well in his studies in magecraft, and had gotten used to his new Magic Circuits. But as they were walking home that evening, their path brought them by the park where the fire ravaged part of Fuyuki, a fire which Shirou was one of the few to survive.

Shirou seemed to be paying his respects, as well as reaffirming part of himself. Harry had been fairly unsuccessful in shaking him of his very pathological hero tendencies, part of it born from survivor's guilt from this tragedy. But Shirou did at least seem to look up to Harry enough that he'd listen to a degree.

As they headed back to the Emiya household, though, the quartet froze as they saw a diminutive figure approaching them. She was dressed in winter clothing, including a fur hat, the clothes in dark and light purple. Her hair, however, was snow white, as was her skin, and her eyes were as red as blood. She appeared to be perhaps ten, but her eyes had a strangely knowing look to them, and she had the faintest of malicious smirks on her lips.

She opened her mouth to say something, but the moment was promptly ruined when Luna said, "Aw, so cute. Can I hug you?"

Whatever the girl was about to say, Luna's remark promptly derailed it. Her mouth worked up and down like a ventriloquist doll's, only for her to regain herself. "Thank you, but I'll take a raincheck on that," she said. Her voice in tone and timbre was that of a child, but there was something in the wording and her cadence that was of an adult. "You'd better summon it soon, mister," she said, looking at Shirou pointedly with a smile. "Otherwise, things will get messy."

"Blood and viscera is such a persistent stain," Luna agreed, skipping over to the girl, and peering at her. "Wow, the Blibbering Humdingers are really holding your growth back, aren't they…Illyasviel?"

"Illyasviel?!" Shirou demanded. "She's my sister?! But…she looks…"

"Oh, so you do know?" Illyasviel asked, regaining her figurative balance in the conversation. Her voice, while still remaining sweet, gained a venomous edge reminding Harry of Dolores Umbridge. Then again, this girl was much better at that than the old toad. "So you know why I'm here."

"The von Einzberns sent you here to fight in the Grail War…and to come after me," Shirou said, resignedly. "Even though my father… _our_ father tried to come back for you."

Illyasviel scowled. "You're lying!"

"Maybe he is lying. Or maybe you are lying. Or maybe Old Man Acht was lying," Luna said. "I'd put money on the latter, really. He told Daddy that my mother was in perfect condition, and an expert at spellcrafting."

"Your mother?" Illyasviel asked. Then, her eyes narrowed. "Ah. Luna Lovegood. The child of Pandora von Einzbern, and Xenophilus Lovegood. A gift because of Lovegood's service to the von Einzberns in tracking down valuable magical creatures. A faulty gift for a faulty man."

"Says the midget whose growth is stunted," Luna said with a rare malicious smirk. She hated people who slighted her parents.

"You…!" Illyasviel pouted, rather cutely.

"Luna," Harry said, facepalming. "Can we try not to annoy your…cousin? We'll go with cousin, who is probably a Master. And given what we know, she probably has Berserker."

"But it's fun, especially with all the Wrackspurts in her," Luna said. She then looked over at Illyasviel. "Anyway, I thought you'd want to get to know your little brother before you try to clobber him. Aren't you the least bit curious?"

Conflicting emotions warred over her face, before she huffed and turned away. "You can't protect him forever, you know. Even the Boy Who Lived and his wife won't be able to."

"Is that a threat?" Harry asked.

"A statement of reality. You are not Magi. You are out of your depth here."

"Let's see, threats of death, magic war, snobbery…yeah, the only thing different here is the albino girl who's about what, eighteen or nineteen, but looks ten. I've been here before, unfortunately. Plus, I'm on speaking terms with two of the most powerful vampires on the planet. You don't actually scare me that much."

Illyasviel turned to them, and smiled all too sweetly. "Well, that will change when we meet again, and I bring Berserker out to play. It was nice meeting you all."

The surprising thing was, Harry reflected later, she actually meant that, even as she curtsied and walked primly away, having delivered death threats.

* * *

Events went more or less how they went in timelines where these events occurred. In the Tohsaka mansion, Rin Tohsaka, intending to summon Saber, instead ended up with Archer, not knowing that the pendant she had acted as a catalyst. He ended up crashing through the roof in a Pythonesque manner, though he managed to make it seem like he meant to do that.

Medusa didn't need to set up her Blood Fort Andromeda to drain energy from the students, but Medea thought it prudent to set up possible bounded fields around the school just in case she needed to battle there, to give her the advantage. She had set up similar bounded fields at other places in Fuyuki, in case they had to fight other Servants outright, though at the moment, the main Servants they had to watch for were Lancer, Berserker, and Archer. They hoped they could persuade Saber to help, especially if Saber turned out to be Arturia.

The bounded fields still caught Rin's attention. Subtle though Medea's work was, Rin was practised enough in magecraft to notice. She was investigating the night after Illyasviel revealed herself when she was confronted by Lancer.

Harry, who was waiting for Shirou (the boy had been inveigled by that bastard Shinji into cleaning up the gym), had Medea and Medusa with him. Luna was back at the temple with Sakura and Jack the Ripper, along with Kuzuki. Luna had a bad feeling about this night, which was why she had asked Medea to accompany Harry.

They saw Rin leap off the school building, and saw the figure of her Servant flicker into existence to catch her safely. Harry frowned. The man was tall, dressed in black armour, with a red coat or something along those lines over the armour. His skin was tanned, his hair bone white…and his handsome, yet sardonic and hard features looked vaguely familiar.

His opponent was a slender man dressed in blue, wielding a blood-red spear that looked a touch too phallic for Harry's liking. His blue hair, tied in a ponytail, framed a smirking face, not really an evil one, but one filled with lazy enjoyment mixed, disconcertingly, with a lust for conflict. Bazett hadn't woken from her coma yet, so she was missing out on seeing Cú Chulainn, assuming that was who it was, in action.

The two Servants exchanged words. Well, Rin and Cú Chulainn did. The white-haired Servant didn't do much at first. But when they clashed…

Harry had seen mock battles between Medea and Medusa for training, in the forest outside of the temple. Medea mostly summoned skeleton-like golems, while Medusa moved with an inhuman grace that reminded Harry even more of the snakes she had an affinity with. That in itself was awe-inspiring, but this was another matter entirely, on a whole new level. It was awe-inspiring…a literal clash of the titans.

Harry frowned, though, at the white-haired Servant's choice of weaponry: a pair of swords. And yet, Cú Chulainn seemed to think that the mystery Servant was an Archer, so Harry named him as such in his head.

Suddenly, a loud snap echoed through the night sky, and Harry whirled to find Shirou standing there, having stepped on a twig, and with a most marvellous deer in the headlights look in his eyes. Harry hadn't even noticed him, and judging by the looks on the others' faces, they hadn't either. But both Archer and Cú Chulainn seemed to agree on one thing, given the looks they shot each other. As the Lancer Servant attacked, and Shirou began to run, Harry whipped out his wand, pointed it at Shirou, and roared, "ACCIO, _SHIROU EMIYA!_ "

With an undignified yelp, Shirou slid along the ground at high speed just before Cú Chulainn reached him. "Caster!" Harry yelled as Shirou slid to a halt next to them. "Get him to his home! He needs help!"

Medea nodded, materialising, and grabbing hold of Shirou. "Hold on, this will be rough."

As Medea and Shirou disappeared in a swirl of Medea's robes, Cú Chulainn approached. "That was a bit stupid," he said with an Irish lilt to his lazy drawl. "I mean, you're a Master and all, but you can't leave witnesses alive. And sending your Servant away leaves you a mite exposed."

"He's a Magus, so he knows when to keep his mouth shut," Harry said. "Plus, who said that was MY Servant?"

On cue, Medusa appeared, her distinctive nail-like daggers, chained together, at the ready. "Rider," Harry said. "I think he's compensating for something with that spear. Care to show him how to do a real appetiser for what's to come?"

"With pleasure, Harry," Medusa hissed, a small smile on her features…

* * *

Shirou stared as the magic circle, altered a little by Caster and Luna over the past week or so, flared into life. He had been, in a way, hoping he'd be drawn into this, if only so he could help Harry, Luna, and Sakura save as many people as possible. Harry may have scoffed at his ideals, but his goals were at least compatible with them. And he wouldn't let Harry fight alone against the Servants. Especially not after he saved his life.

The light soon faded away, and the figure within was soon revealed. It was a girl, her apparent age in her late teens, and yet having the bearing of someone older. Her blonde hair was done up in a bun, away from a regally beautiful, but stern face, her green eyes taking in everything. She was dressed in a blue dress that seemed to be partly armoured. She looked utterly beautiful in the moonlight streaming into the shed that was his workshop.

"Servant Saber has answered your summons," Arturia said. "I ask of you, are you my Master?"

Shirou, confronted with something like this, could only nod mutely…

 **CHAPTER 6 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, here you are, the beginning of the Grail War proper. This is probably my longest chapter yet, but I wanted to end this chapter on Arturia appearing, given how powerful an image it is. Okay, Medea's going to need to do some fast talking to prevent getting skewered, but even so…**

 **Review-answering time!** **tamagat** **: You know, your comment about Shirou sort of reminds me of the complaints made about Dumbledore, that he is too forgiving, at the expense of himself and his allies. Food for thought…**

 **Jean11089** **: Thank you. A review like yours is heartening for me, considering I am yet to watch the series in earnest, beyond a few clips and part of the** ** _Unlimited Blade Works_** **movie. And you're right, Luna being Luna makes her a good character device for getting Harry into weird situations. If you haven't already, feel free to look at two of my other fics with a similar premise, but different crossovers:** ** _Truth and Consequences_** **(a crossover with** ** _Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood_** **) and** ** _Yin and Yang_** **(a crossover with the** ** _Batman: Arkham_** **games). Also, I did my first tentative steps into Harry/multi with** ** _Henry Ashford and the Goblet of Fire_** **, a crossover with** ** _Resident Evil_** **, where Harry (well, Henry Ashford) snags Hermione and Luna. I generally don't do harem fics or multiple romances, though.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	8. Chapter 7: The King of Knights

**CHAPTER 7:**

 **THE KING OF KNIGHTS**

Arturia seemed to notice Caster, who held up a hand to forestall any conflict. "Peace, Saber. I brought your Master here to summon you. He was in mortal peril, and my Master and her spouse have taken an interest in his welfare. Shirou is not my enemy, and I would hope that you aren't either."

Arturia's eyes narrowed. "Of what folly do you speak? Servants are to defeat each other in combat to empower the Grail. You are my foe by default."

"Consider this, then, done under the flag of parley," Caster said. "You are Arturia, King of Knights, are you not? Known in myth and legend as King Arthur Pendragon?"

After a moment, Arturia nodded reluctantly. "Aye, I am."

"My Master believed you would be summoned for this," Caster said. "She is building an alliance of other Masters, as she heard disturbing reports about the prior Grail War. This boy is the adopted son of the man you served in that war, Arturia, and he needs your protection. My Master, along with her allies and allied Servants, will come here before long. We come under parley. Whether you agree to help us or not, I care little, but we wish for Shirou to be able to stay alive during this." She took a photo from her robes, showing Harry, Luna, and Sakura, along with their Servants in physical form, taken a few days ago, just in case. "We will come later."

"Hang on!" Shirou said. "Harry's in trouble, Caster! He's fighting two Servants with only Rider! I need to go back with you, even the odds!"

"You underestimate his ability, Shirou, but if it will make you feel any better, I will bring you back, along with Arturia," Caster said.

"Master," Arturia said. "How can you trust her?"

"She helped save my life and summon you," Shirou said. "She also helped me learn much about my magic. I trust her."

Arturia seemed reluctant, but said, "Very well, but any deception will buy you a cold length of steel through your body, Caster."

Caster smiled beneath her hood. "You are far from the first to make such a threat, in earnest or bombast, Arturia. I won't refer to your true name when we are on the battlefield as a courtesy. Prepare yourself…"

* * *

Medusa moved with inhuman grace as she fought Cú Chulainn. Harry had to admire her speed and agility. Her way of fighting was a thing of beauty, somewhere between the bestial and the divine, moving her body in ways the average gymnast or ballet dancer would envy, lithe and lethal. Archer, meanwhile, seemed content to stand on the sidelines and watch, Rin just a bit behind him. Harry, after a moment's thought, brought out a packet, Luna's invention, of a self-popping popcorn packet. No microwaves needed, just pull the tab.

The sudden noise of a lot of popcorn kernels popping all at once drew Archer and Rin's attention, as Harry walked over, seemingly unconcerned about the fight, and offered the opened packet, having taken a couple of kernels. "Popcorn?"

"You seem unconcerned for your safety," Archer remarked, casually taking a handful.

"If you were going to kill me while Rider was fighting Lancer, you'd probably have done it by now. Besides, you don't want to piss off my wife. She gets _creative_."

Rin frowned. "Archer, why did you accept his popcorn? He could have poisoned it or enchanted it."

"He didn't," Archer said. "I can tell. He's not a complete idiot. If he tried, I would have killed him. Is this the wizard you were going on about, Master? Harry Potter?"

Rin nodded. Archer then looked at Harry, and remarked, "The Boy Who Lived, huh? I thought you'd be taller."

"I think that's the first time anyone said that to me. Kind of refreshing," Harry said. He peered at Archer. "You look a little familiar. Do I know you?"

"Probably not," Archer said, taking more popcorn. Rin, having overcome her skittishness, did the same. "Hmm, really good."

"My wife's invention," Harry said, with Rin pausing mid-chew. "Instant popcorn, no microwaves needed."

"You're eating something _Luna Lovegood_ made," Rin said flatly.

"She's a good cook, and a dab hand at making magical things," Harry said.

Then, Medea reappeared, with Shirou and what had to be Arturia in tow. Arturia took in the situation, before she joined the fray. "Rider! Help Saber!" Harry yelled.

"Yes, Harry," hissed Medusa. Arturia, deciding that if Rider's Master had overtly ordered her to help her, opted to accept the help for the time being. Cú Chulainn soon found himself outmatched, but his grin was getting wider and wider, losing himself to battle.

But as one clash led to the three Servants leaping back, Cú Chulainn suddenly scowled. "Dammit, no! Just when it was getting good! Stupid bloody Master…sorry guys, must dash!" He then astralized, presumably heading back to his Master.

After a moment, Harry, Medusa, Medea, Shirou, and Arturia turned as one to look at Archer and Rin. An uncomfortable silence followed. Rin looked more concerned than Archer, which actually worried Harry. Archer had the sort of self-assurance a Malfoy would aspire to, with no arrogance, no pride, just simple self-realisation that he was simply that good. That's what Harry thought, anyway. He probably thought that he might just have a chance at fighting three Servants…or else he didn't care.

Didn't care…for some reason, that thought struck a chord, and Harry didn't know why.

"Damn," Archer muttered. "And that was some good popcorn too. I've only made better myself."

"Harry?" Medusa asked.

"Hold on a moment," Harry said quietly, before he said to Rin, "Have you seen Kotomine yet with your Servant?"

"Not yet," Rin admitted. "I meant to do it later, but this bounded field got my attention. Did you help Shirou get a Servant?"

"Why not? Lancer looked set to kill him," Harry said. "Given how his father, like yours, was part of the previous Grail War, I thought, if his luck was anything like mine, he was going to get pulled into it anyway. We educated him on it."

"His…father…" After a moment, Rin facepalmed. "I didn't even think about that. Shirou _Emiya_. I just didn't think he looked anything like the Magus Killer. Or acted like him, for that matter."

"Yeah, well, a friendly heads-up for you, Rin," Harry said. "Berserker's Master is in Fuyuki: Illyasviel von Einzbern. She's the Magus Killer's actual daughter and she's got a bit of a chip on her shoulder."

"Why are you helping us?" Rin asked suspiciously.

"Like Shirou, I have a saving people thing. I try to help whoever I can," Harry said. "Unlike Shirou, I know that people will die. The trick is keeping it to a minimum. Plus, Luna and I have some pretty nasty suspicions about the Grail. We think it's a monkey's paw."

"A what?" Rin demanded.

"What does the paw of a monkey have to do with it?" Arturia demanded.

Archer rolled his eyes. "You're in Japan, Harry Potter, they're unlikely to get what it means, and Saber comes from a time before that story. He means that it will grant you a wish with bad consequences. I'd tell you to look it up when we got home, Master, but you don't have the internet there." In a stage whisper, he added, "She doesn't even have indoor plumbing. It's like your wizards in Britain."

Rin promptly threw a rock, reinforced and given a speed boost by magic, at the back of Archer's head, who even as he winced in pain, had a 'totally worth it' smirk on his face. "You stupid liar!"

"Hey, it's not too far from the truth. I saw you screaming at that TV when you couldn't get it to work, simply because the remote went down the side of the chair," Archer retorted. "Seriously, it's lucky you know how to repair it with magic after you shot it with a Gandr."

"I'll shoot _you_ with a Gandr!"

"Ah, the trials and travails of an Archer class," Medea remarked with a smirk. "They have the innate ability of Independent Action, meaning they're not as dependant on their master for an energy source…but it does tend to give them ideas above their station."

"Shut up, Caster!" Rin yelled.

"Little girl, you cannot silence your own Servant. What makes you think you can silence _me?_ "

"Caster, please do not shake the fully-armed _tsundere_ missile, for it may go off in our faces," Harry said, completely deadpan. "Head back to Luna and Sakura, please, help Assassin look after them."

Medea nodded. She was more powerful at the temple, after all. She disappeared in a swirl of robes. After a moment, Rin sighed. "We'll call a truce for the moment while Shirou and I register at the church. Alright?"

"That's fine by me," Harry said. "As long as Spray-On Tan doesn't decide to try anything."

Archer, after a moment, actually chuckled. "I think I like your snark if nothing else…"

* * *

As Rin walked ahead, Archer and Medusa having astralized, Arturia walked alongside them, still in her armoured dress. Rin had made some snide remark about Shirou screwing up the summoning enough to force his Saber to remain physically manifested, but Harry suspected something else. Zelretch had hinted that Arturia was not like other Servants, not actually a copy of her manifested from the Throne of Heroes, but the real Arturia, taken from the past. Or something like that, anyway.

"So, you were my father's Servant?" Shirou asked Arturia.

After a moment, Arturia said, a little tightly, "Indeed."

"Shirou, your father isn't a good memory for her, not like he is for you. Servants normally don't retain their memories of what happened before, but I guess Arturia here is an exception," Harry said quietly.

"Okay, well…you knew his wife, didn't you? Irisviel?" Shirou asked. "What was she like?"

Arturia smiled, until one particular memory resurfaced…

* * *

 _It was shortly before they encountered Caster, that hunchbacked freak with the eyes of Marty Feldman, the hunched back of Richard III(_ _1)_ _, and the scruples of Caligula. She was in that car with Irisviel as the Homunculus drove the car down the mountain road with gleeful abandon._

 _"I feel amazing!" Irisviel cheered as she drove the car at speeds that were not safe. Arturia was not actually one to object to speed per se, but she was pretty sure, given her skill in Riding, she could certainly drive the car safer than Irisviel_.

I am a brave and gallant knight, _Arturia thought to herself in an attempt to calm her fear. It wasn't working. She had looked death in the eye on the battlefield, she had slain evil knights and monsters, she had encountered the extremely disturbing form of Berserker, and yet, she had never encountered something as terrifying as Irisviel von Einzbern's driving._

 _"Faster. HARDER. Laaanceerrrrr…" That last had been emitted in a semi-orgasmic growl that was certainly one of the most disturbing things Arturia had ever heard. That, and using Lancer as a euphemism for…something else(_ _2)_ _._

* * *

"Enthusiastic and full of life," Arturia said. "You would have liked her."

"Sounds a bit like Luna," Harry said.

"Sounds a bit like Miss Fuji," Shirou added.

* * *

As Shirou and Rin entered the church, Harry lingered outside with Arturia, Medusa still astralized. He was ready to go in if there was a commotion, though. "I don't understand," Arturia said as the others entered. "Why are you aiding a fellow Master?"

"Like I said, I have a saving people thing, and we suspect the Grail might be dangerous. I mean, aside from the whole thing of a wish-granting object being in the wrong hands," Harry explained.

"But…I need the Grail," Arturia said quietly. "I _need_ it."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me. I've been down the whole chosen one crushed under the weight of expectations road. I may not have been a king, but…losing friends? Being betrayed? Being told I was the saviour of a country before I hit puberty? Yeah, I did that."

It seemed like Arturia was debating with herself whether to tell him. "You speak truly?"

"Arturia, I'd swear an oath to say it under Veritaserum."

"Tell me this, then, Harry Potter. What would you wish for on the Grail?"

After a moment, Harry said, "I don't want to wish for anything on the Grail."

"That is not what I asked. What is your deepest desire, that cannot be granted by your own efforts? That only something as powerful as the Grail could provide?"

After another moment, Harry admitted, "A second chance. A chance to do things right. I had many good things in my life, Arturia. I wouldn't change those. But I lost friends and family. Mostly because MY Merlin didn't seem to care that the road to hell was paved with good intentions, or that sharing information would have been nice. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy enough with what I have. I have a lovely, if very eccentric wife, and plenty of friends. I just wish more people made it out alive."

"…I desire a second chance too," Arturia confessed after a long, uncomfortable interval. "Initially, I desired the same thing you did, to do things over for the better, to correct my mistakes. But…I came to a realisation during the previous Grail War, that my original desire had been but folly. That someone else should have been king. Not I. Not King Arthur. Someone else could have made the kingdom last."

"Or made it worse," Harry said.

Arturia scoffed. "Kiritsugu Emiya once told me he detested my ilk. How heroes and gods inspired people to war and strife under their banner, deluding them that war was glorious, when in reality, it is bloody and cruel. And the most galling thing was, he wasn't wrong."

"Maybe…but he wasn't wholly right either," Harry said after a moment's contemplation. "Heroes and gods, they can inspire great evil, true, but how much good was inspired by you, Arturia? How many people were inspired by your legend to become better than they were, to draw their own swords from the stone? I wasn't inspired myself, personally…but I still thought you were a hero. Hell, knowing that you were a woman, I reckon you're even more of a hero, given how they treated women back then. Would your replacement have that same sort of impact?" Harry shook his head. "Even our suspicions about the Grail aside, I doubt it. And even if he or she did…would you put someone through what you went through in all good conscience? I wouldn't put anyone what I went through. Your first wish, dodgy though it was, was better, saner. It may not have worked out, but it was more constructive."

Arturia fell into a pensive silence at this, thinking on his words. She then decided to change the subject. "What of Shirou? What has he inherited from his father? He seems more congenial than his sire. I am surprised Kiritsugu raised someone to be like that."

"Kiritsugu raised him well, though he made some stupid decisions, deliberately misleading Shirou on how to use magecraft to deter him from using it. To keep him safe, theoretically. In practise, had Shirou not had Caster look him over, he might have been woefully underprepared for this. You are getting energy from him?"

"Aye. A paltry amount, certainly nowhere near as much as I got from his father and Irisviel…but it suffices."

"We might have to see about supplementing that," Harry said. "Maybe Caster can help."

"I still feel ill at ease accepting help from an enemy Master," Arturia said.

"It's understandable. Technically, I am your enemy, especially as I don't intend to win the Grail, or let anyone else do so. But I want to also make sure as many people survive." After another silence, Harry said, "I know this must be painful, but please, tell me. What happened when you destroyed the Grail?"

Arturia scowled. "That blackguard Emiya used his remaining Command Seals to force me to destroy it. No explanation, no warning. Then again, he treated me like a tool at best throughout the Grail War. I remember little, though, after I smote the Grail with Excalibur, and even that I remember dimly."

"I got the feeling he found out something about the Grail. Why else force you to destroy it when he was on the verge of getting his wish?" Harry mused. "Arturia, I only ask two things of you. The first is that you listen to me and consider the possibility that the Grail is a poisoned chalice. The second is that, even if it comes to conflict between my Servants and you, that you leave the Masters out of this. Me, my wife, and Sakura. Hell, even Rin: she's annoying, but she's out of her depth, even if she wouldn't admit it."

"There are two Masters unaccounted for," Arturia pointed out.

"One," Harry said quietly. "Berserker's Master is Illyasviel von Einzbern. Kiritsugu and Irisviel's daughter."

Arturia frowned. "I met her but a couple of times, though I only heard the name Illya. She is now the von Einzbern's chosen Master?"

"Indeed," giggled a voice. Arturia and Harry whirled to find Illyasviel standing there, her pale skin all but glowing in the darkness, her red eyes glittering with malice and mischief. "It's nice to see my treacherous father's Servant here. It's really apposite."

"…You looked that word up in a dictionary, didn't you?" Harry snarked.

Arturia then scowled. "Truly then, the von Einzberns have even less scruples than Kiritsugu, a perversely impressive feat. One thing I knew for certain about Kiritsugu was his devotion to you, Illya."

"Then why did he abandon me?" Illya countered.

"You've been drinking the von Einzbern Kool-Aid, Illya," Harry said, sending a mental message to Medusa to materialise, as he knew that Illya meant business. "All you had to do was ask Shirou to be your little brother. He'd have jumped at that."

Illya shrugged, though there was some conflict in her eyes. "Well, it doesn't really matter now. You've got your own Servant ready, along with Saber. How about I introduce you to Berserker?"

It seemed like the very shadows of the night coalesced into the massive, hulking form in front of them. Berserker took the form of a massive, muscled man, his only clothing being a loincloth of fur. His skin was dark grey, his face brutal and pugilistic and bestial, eyes glowing with a mad gleam, his hair thick, wild, and tangled, his mouth twisted in a barely-restrained snarl. So thickly muscled he was, Harry got the feeling that if he ever so much as touched him, he'd die of an acute steroid overdose. He seemed less like a Servant, and more like a force of nature made into flesh. Even the growl emanating from Berserker seemed more like some sort of avalanche or storm given voice than anything remotely human or animal. He wielded a massive stone sword.

"Scared yet?" Illya taunted.

"Terrified beyond capacity for rational thought," Harry only half-snarked(3).

"Fear is an appropriate response," Illya said with a smile. "Now…let's see what you've got, Boy Who Lived…"

 **CHAPTER 7 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **How's that for a cliffhanger? I wanted to have Harry and Arturia have a discussion about their lives and what they'd do with the Grail, assuming it wasn't tainted, as well as a rebuttal to Kiritsugu's admittedly good point about heroes and what they inspire. Arturia is still leery of Harry, but the fact that he was frank about himself and what his goals are helps her, if not trust him, then at least listen to what he has to say.**

 **Review-answering time! Okay, it was a mistake comparing Shirou too much to Dumbledore in the previous chapter, but I was raising what I thought was an interesting point.**

 **raigalcc** **: I'm probably not going to take that any further, BUT in sakurademonalchemist's Golden Queen, the female Harry of that story learns she is actually a descendant of Arturia, through Mordred. When Arturia gets summoned, one of the first things she does is yell "Hi Grandma!" Arturia, once she realises what that means, promptly faints, much to everyone's amusement.**

 **Demnorc** **: I agree. I'm not a fan of harem anime and manga usually, with** ** _Highschool DxD_** **being one of the few exceptions, if only because it's more fun and funny. I also generally don't go for harem fics, simply because I find myself bemused by the concept. I've got the feeling that the** ** _Naruto_** **fanon concept of a Clan Restoration Act was made just to have harem fics justified (and to be fair, it's an intriguing plot device for the** ** _Naruto_** **world, despite being used as an excuse for harems). Here, it's really only workable because Luna is so open-minded, she'd gladly share Harry with a few other women. I generally don't do multiple pairings, though this story, and** ** _Henry Ashford and the Goblet of Fire_** **, are two exceptions. Then again, in** ** _Truth and Consequences_** **, which has a similar premise to this story, only involving the world of** ** _Fullmetal Alchemist_** **, Luna and Harry end up in a threesome with Lust. Lust is so exhilarated, she strongly considers making them her pets after the Promised Day comes to pass.**

 **1\. While many people used to think a hunchbacked Richard III was an invention of Shakespeare, the recent excavation of Richard's remains show that he actually did have scoliosis, albeit readily concealed by clothing. Whether he was actually as bad as Shakespeare and Tudor historians made him out to be is another matter, of course…**

 **2\. This scene was adapted from Episode 3 of** ** _Fate/Cero_** **, an Abridged version of** ** _Fate/Zero_** **. While some of the humour is, frankly, not at all funny (and there's way too many strobing lights to be comfortable, especially for anyone with epileptic tendencies), there's some jokes that are funny, like the scene involving Irisviel's driving. So I couldn't resist using a modified version of that scene. In** ** _Fate/Cero_** **, Irisviel actually does orgasm…and can't see the road anymore. So Arturia has to apply the brakes just before they hit Caster…though after Caster makes his demands clear ("** ** _I desire the cooch of the blonde one!_** **" are his exact words in** ** _Fate/Cero_** **), they promptly run him over. Oh, and why 'Lancer'? Well, in the previous episode, Lancer's beauty spot is part of a charm spell, which doesn't affect the magic-resistant Saber. Illyasviel and Sola-Ui, however, are other matters entirely, getting affected in…** ** _interesting_** **ways.**

 **3\. This, of course, comes from the original** ** _Ghostbusters_** **.**


	9. Chapter 8: Berserker Smash!

**CHAPTER 8:**

 **BERSERKER SMASH!**

As, with an inhuman roar, Berserker lunged, Harry grabbed onto Medusa and Arturia, and used Apparition to get out of the way, appearing behind Illya. "All brute strength," Harry remarked, "but no finesse whatsoever. I heard the top Magi families put great store by finesse."

"When the dagger fails, one must turn to the axe," Illya said(1). "To be fair, I'm the brains of the outfit. Berserker brings his brute strength. I may not look it, but I'm a very powerful Magus."

She'd have to be, Harry thought. Although all Servant classes drained magic power from their Masters to a degree to sustain themselves, because of their sheer power, Berserkers put more strain than most. It had been the downfall of the Master of Berserker in the previous Grail War, Kariya Matou: part of the reason why he died was that the load on his magic had proved too much. Illya might be small, but that didn't matter if she had a lot of Magic Circuits.

"Rider, do what you do best. Play for time until Rin and Shirou can get Archer out here. Saber, if you'd like to help, I'd appreciate it, but don't take any unnecessary risks, please."

Rider nodded, before she sped through the air. Arturia hefted her sword. "And what of you?"

"Well, as much as I don't want to hit a little girl, she's older than she looks. Plus, she can take it," Harry said. He was cursing leaving the Invisibility Cloak back home in England, though.

"Very well. I will assist your Servant for the time being," Arturia said, before lunging forward.

"Do you think you're a match for me, Harry Potter?" Illya asked.

"I honestly don't know. The thing is, I've got the impression we were both made to be living weapons," Harry said, drawing his wand. "Shaped by foolish, autocratic old farts. Dumbledore for me, and Old Man Acht for you. By Acht, I presume Luna meant Jubstacheit von Einzbern. Gone through a ridiculous amount of pain for it. I know one thing that I've done that you haven't…and I'm not sure you will."

"What's that?"

"I killed Voldemort. Killing him made the world a better place, even if only marginally. Would killing Shirou do so? I don't think so, and I don't think anyone here would think killing Shirou would improve their lives."

* * *

As he rushed out of the church with Rin, materialising as he did so, Archer sneezed.

* * *

"Shut up! He took my father away from me!" Illya snapped, before flinging a spell at Harry.

Harry dodged. "Your grandfather kept him away! Shirou told us he flew to Germany for weeks at a time, probably trying to rescue your ungrateful arse!" He sent a special Stunner spell of Hermione's design: one that split up into multiple missiles, and which rained down on Illya from all directions.

But to Harry's astonishment, and his reluctant admiration, Illya swatted them all away with her hands, wincing slightly in pain as she did so. She looked at him with contempt. "Trying to stun me instead of kill me? No wonder you're no Magus, you have no killer instinct. A Magus walks hand in hand with death in everything they do. I have to wonder how you stopped Voldemort, fighting as you do, unwilling to kill."

"Killing should be the last resort, especially with people who don't know better," Harry said as he dodged more spells, sending some of his own back as he talked. "You may be older than Shirou, but you still have too much of the child you resemble. I don't think you really know what it's like to take a life, to take everything from someone. To take all that potential away. And I don't think you have the stomach to kill, or the stomach to live with yourself afterward! Blame Kiritsugu for all you like, even if it is wrongly, but Shirou was ignorant about you until I told him, _he doesn't deserve your ire or your hatred! INCENDIO!_ "

The fire spell washed towards Illya, meant to keep her off balance rather than being a serious attack. He Apparated behind her and flung a Stunner at her. It hit her, but she only shook her head, as if dazed. He flung more, but she batted them away as she spun to face him. "Tricky little mosquito, aren't you?" she said.

" _Serpensortia!_ " Harry snarled, summoning a massive snake, one that looked like a python. " _Restrain her, but don't kill her_ ," he hissed in Parseltongue. He then fired a number of spells to distract Illya, before the snake lunged, and wrapped around her. "Now, do you need a time out? I'll make you sit in the corner if you don't stop this. If I have to, I'll cut off your arm, the one with your Command Seals." _Or_ , he thought to himself, _I'll have to call Medea, have her use Rule Breaker_. The dagger Medea used as her Noble Phantasm could break or transfer a magical contract instantly. If need be, she could even sever the contract between a Master and a Servant, and take them on for herself.

"They're not on my arms," Illya said with a smirk. "Well, not all of them, anyway. They're integrated with my Magic Circuits, throughout my body. Speaking of which…Berserker? A little help?"

Harry's eyes widened when he heard the eldritch roar of Berserker coming his way. With a shouted expletive, he Apparated before Berserker could tear him apart. As he watched from his new location, he saw that Berserker had halted near Illya, and was currently tearing the python apart. Then, with surprising tenderness, the massive creature picked her up, placing her on its shoulder.

"Harry," Medusa hissed as she took up a position alongside him, "my attacks did little. Neither did Saber's or Archer's. I have a feeling that he is familiar too."

Illya heard that. "Oh? Would you happen to be Greek, by any chance, Rider? I'm guessing that's what you are. And I've got a fair notion of who you might be. Well, not that it will really help you, but his true name is Heracles, though some might know him better as Hercules."

Medusa's lips thinned. Medea had spoken of Heracles, who had been one of the Argonauts…and whom she had healed of a curse long after the incident with Jason. One of the most powerful Greek heroes, the bastard demigod son of Zeus, hounded by Hera, all for the crime of being born.

"Holy shit, that's Heracles?!" Harry yelped. After a moment, he added, "Isn't he meant to look more like Kevin Sorbo?"

Illya cocked her head. "Who's Kevin Sorbo? Well, it's been fun for an opening salvo. But I think I've made my point. Regardless of everything else, you and your Servants have little chance."

"And yet, you're leaving," Harry said. "Is it possible that with three Servants against him, Heracles might go down?"

"If it were, I wouldn't tell you. Still, I suppose there's more to your reputation than bombast, Harry Potter. See you soon."

As Berserker lumbered away into the night with his Master and charge, Shirou and Rin came running up, Arturia and Archer in tow. "Are you all right?" Shirou demanded.

"Fine enough, I guess," Harry said. "Everyone else all right?"

"I am injured, but I will recover," Arturia said, clutching at her arm.

"I'm fine," Archer said. "So's the idiot and the _tsundere_." Over the indignant cries of Shirou and Rin, he continued, "That damned thing was fast, and he wielded that sword pretty well for an insane Servant. I saw what you did, though. You targeted the Master, but not to kill. Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"It has been claimed before," Harry said. "Illya's mistaken, I was hoping to get that through to her. If I'm lucky, then at least she's got some doubts in her mind as to what the von Einzberns told her. And I got some useful intel anyway. I threatened to cut off her arm with the Command Seals. She claimed they were throughout her body, suggesting multiple Command Seals."

"That might explain how she's able to control such an overpowered Berserker," Rin mused. "But how did she get so many?"

"Probably the von Einzberns modifying her," Archer remarked, crossing his arms. "It's possible for Masters to get additional Command Seals through official channels, albeit only for good reasons."

Arturia nodded. "I recall the previous overseer offering Command Seals to those who would slay the Caster of the previous Grail War, and his vile Master. I used my Noble Phantasm to annihilate Caster along with the beast he summoned, and my Master shot Caster's Master. But to use so many…"

"Shirou, keep Saber close," Harry said. "At the very least, Berserker and Lancer are potential threats to your person. Keep in mind that, due to her special circumstances, she can't astralize. And despite what Little Miss Tsundere there claims, it's not due to you stuffing up the summoning. I think she's projecting."

"Yeah, she wanted Saber herself," Archer said with a grin. "She got me instead. She's projecting so hard, it's in widescreen with surround sound(2)."

"Shut up, you, or I'll use a Command Seal to…to…make you do something unpleasant I haven't thought of yet," Rin snapped.

"Scathing comeback," Archer said dryly.

"You two seem meant for each other," Harry observed. "Shame he'd get done for being a paedophile if things heated up."

Archer chuckled. "See what I mean? You could learn things from this guy, Master. He's got a pretty sharp tongue for a wizard."

"SHUT UP!" Rin yelled, embarrassed beyond belief.

"Would you mind moving along, please?" came the unexpected voice of Kirei, who had come outside to see what the commotion was. "You're making enough noise to wake the dead, and I know people here who wouldn't appreciate it."

* * *

Rin and Archer made their own way back home, though not before claiming she was going to view Shirou and Harry as enemies from now on. Shirou and Harry, accompanied by Arturia and Medusa, who was now manifested in mufti, were walking to Shirou's place. "The priest claimed he would give me sanctuary if I used up all the Command Seals," Shirou mused.

"Officially, the overseer should do that," Harry said. "But I want you to be cautious, Shirou. Did he happen to mention he was the Master of Assassin last time?"

"No."

"I'm not saying he is a danger for sure, but I personally don't trust him. I only had you and Rin go up there so that he doesn't have an excuse to piss and moan about you later," Harry said. "And there's another factor. We came across a would-be Master, an Irish Magus by the name of Bazett. Luna has contacts with Clock Tower, and they said that Bazett was here to summon Lancer. She was missing her arm and her memories, and she's currently at our base in a coma."

Arturia's eyes widened. "Her Command Seals…were they stolen?"

"That's what we think," Harry said. "She was left to die. We believe the Lancer you confronted to be Cú Chulainn, as that was who she intended to summon. If it weren't for my intervention, he would have killed Shirou, I think. Technically, most would just modify his memories rather than kill him. And Lancer seemed to hate his Master. Remember what he said before he left?"

Shirou nodded. "I see what you mean. Someone's taken control of Lancer. My sister?"

"No. Illya's agenda is to win the Grail for the von Einzberns, as well as punishing you for your father's sins," Harry said. "There's another party involved, that's what we think."

"Cú Chulainn is indeed a formidable foe," Arturia said. "His Noble Phantasm, the Gae Bolg, is said to hit the heart unerringly, no matter what obstacle is in its way, and the wound will never heal properly. And if indeed he serves another Master with their own designs on the Grail…if he or she is ruthless enough to force this Bazett to die slowly after losing her arm, then the person in question is a vile blackguard who will stop at nothing. Then again, Kiritsugu did many things to even the playing field, things I objected to. While I apologise for any hurt you feel for what I say about your father, I will not deny the reality of what I witnessed, Shirou. You saw only the good of that man. I saw little but his worse."

"Saber…Arturia…I'm used to it by now. Harry told me some of this. I don't like it…but I like to think my father passed the best of himself to me," Shirou said.

"I would hope so," Arturia said.

"I would think that both Shirou and Harry would have been fine confidantes for you in life, Arturia," Medusa said. "I have only known them for short periods, but they are both earnest, if somewhat quixotic. I am certainly proud to have Harry as my Master. Make of that what you will."

"Thanks, Rider," Harry said. "Arturia, Luna and I, along with Sakura and our Servants, will be concentrating more on investigating the Grail and confirming whether it's truly corrupted or not. We'll also try to find out who Lancer's current Master is, we can have Assassin do recon. If we want to share information, we'll notify you via a Patronus spell, or else via Sakura, who'll be going to the same school as Shirou and Rin. Okay?"

Arturia nodded. Meanwhile, Shirou was frowning. "Harry, how am I going to explain Arturia to Miss Fuji?"

"Just tell her Arturia knew your father," Harry said. "It is the truth in a way."

"Okay. Hopefully, she'll buy that," Shirou said.

"Look, if push comes to shove, I'll use a Memory Charm on her. I don't want to do it, but it's better than having her flip her lid."

The two pairs of Masters and Servants parted ways, not knowing that events were going to get even more tangled up than they were already…

 **CHAPTER 8 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **I wasn't sure whether I could do a battle between Servants justice, especially as I suck balls at doing battle scenes. So I thought I'd concentrate on Illya versus Harry. I hope it did well enough: Illya underestimated Harry simply because he's a wizard rather than a Magus, and that he is known to use less lethal spells. Hence her needing Berserker to get her out of that.**

 **Review-answering time!** **tamagat** **: I can't write Shakespeare. I can write old-fashioned to a degree, though, but Arturia's dialogue will be a bit inconsistently old-fashioned. And NO, I am not doing Harry's stats Nasuverse style. It's like power levels in** ** _Dragonball Z_** **. As Vegeta points it out succinctly in the Abridged Series, "POWER LEVELS ARE BULLSHIT!"**

 **1\. I don't know whether this is an official creed of the von Einzberns in canon, but sakurademonalchemist used it in her** ** _Naruto_** **crossover** ** _Naruto Emiya_** **.**

 **2\. I remember this joke from an episode of** ** _Black Books_** **, the British comedy TV series. It's from** ** _Hello, Sun_** **, and Bernard Black is claiming this of Manny.**


	10. Chapter 9: Waking the Dead and the

**CHAPTER 9:**

 **WAKING THE DEAD AND THE MOSTLY-DEAD**

The next morning, Bazett finally came out of her coma. Understandably, she was more than a little concerned to find her Command Seals missing, and in the presence of three Masters and their Servants. She had, understandably, thought they were the ones to attack her (even if she recognised one as Harry Potter), as her memories were missing, and it took a hurried phone call to Zelretch while Kuzuki and Rider were holding her down to persuade the Irish Magus that she was amongst allies.

After that was all cleared up, and Luna went to speak to Zelretch further, Bazett was drinking from a cup of tea, pursing her lips pensively. "So, if you guys didn't take Lancer, who did?"

"Buggered if I know," Harry said. "I've got a sneaking suspicion, but I haven't got a why to go with the who. We saw Lancer last night. He nearly killed a witness without confirming whether he was a Magus or not, presumably on orders. At the moment, we have a tentative alliance with Saber and her Master, Shirou Emiya, the adopted son of the Magus Killer. However, aside from whoever stole Lancer from you, we may have threats in the form of Archer and his Master, Rin Tohsaka, and Berserker, and his Master, Illyasviel von Einzbern."

Sakura nodded. "I sent Assassin to scout around the von Einzbern castle on the outskirts of the city. I told her not to take any risks, though. Strictly observation and testing the defences. I don't want to lose her to Berserker."

"It was thanks to Assassin that we found you," Medea said. "Kuzuki here brought you back, and I removed the curses on you, and healed you."

"Thanks," Bazett said. "I didn't expect to be helped by rival Masters, but I appreciate it all the same, to be sure. Did you say the son of the Magus Killer was in this?"

"Adopted son," Medusa said. "Shirou Emiya. His daughter, biological daughter, is the von Einzbern Master. Shirou is like Harry here, a do-gooder, only without the cynicism that comes from experience. He's also a bit of an idiot, a well-meaning one, but an idiot all the same. He's managed to get the same Saber that his father did in the previous Grail War."

"If he's like what you say, I pity the poor sod. Zelretch said you're investigating the Grail. Why?"

"There are reports it might have been contaminated by some unknown source," Medea said. "Our suspicions are growing. Harry, remember when I said that there were elements like the Grail within Sakura, only darker? After considerable analysis, I've come to the tentative conclusion that Sakura, indeed, holds the last remains of the Grail of the previous Grail War. And what's more, something vile is contaminating it."

"Can you remove it?" Sakura asked apprehensively.

"I'm still working on the ritual. I need to remove the Crest Worms within you, and that's more difficult than you'd think. The Crest Worms are technically a form of endosymbiote, albeit with parasitic tendencies. They've integrated themselves with a number of vital organs, making them difficult to remove, something Zouken Matou no doubt counted on. I could do it now, but there's too great a risk of killing you, or worse, wakening the taint in the Grail fragments in you. I can suppress them for now."

"So, this girl's been turned by that old worm Matou into his own version of a Lesser Grail?" Bazett asked. "Root, that's nasty. The old worm's been wanting the Grail for centuries, as have the von Einzberns and the Tohsakas."

Luna walked in, hanging up the phone. "Okay, Uncle Zelretch gave me an idea. He's gone to our home to fetch a couple of things."

"Like what?" Harry asked. He liked Zelretch, but he was wary of allowing an infamous gadfly of a vampire to rifle through his things. And setting booby-traps in his drawers.

"Well, I think we need the Hallows," Luna said. "Well, the ones we kept."

"The Hallows? You mean the Deathly Hallows?" Bazett asked.

"Yeah. Namely the Invisibility Cloak and the Resurrection Stone," Harry said.

"Umm, what are the Deathly Hallows?" Sakura asked.

"Yes, I'd like to know too," Kuzuki said.

Luna and Harry shared a look with Bazett, who decided to explain. "Okay, the Deathly Hallows are Mystic Codes, powerful magical artifacts. They're mostly known by the wizarding community of Europe, though the Magi are aware of them to a degree. The true origins of these artifacts were lost in the mists of time, though they're said to have been made, or at least first obtained, by the Peverells. However, according to a wizarding fairy tale, they were gifts bestowed by Death upon three brothers."

Kuzuki raised an eyebrow. "Wizards have fairy tales?"

Bazett nodded. "Death had been miffed that they had managed to use magic to make a bridge to cross a river safely, but opted to punish them through 'gifts'. The first brother asked for an all-powerful wand, but the silly bastard got his throat cut in his sleep after boasting about it, and it got stolen. The second brother asked for a stone that could bring the dead back from beyond, but it only brought back a shade, like a ghost. He became so obsessed with the shade of his dead lover, he committed suicide. Death had meant that all along, but he couldn't find the third brother, who had asked for an invisibility cloak. The third brother managed to avoid Death long enough to have a happy and fruitful life, before willingly going with Death, so the story goes."

Sakura frowned. "The way Death is portrayed here…sounds a bit like what my grandfather told me of Gaia or Alaya."

Harry shrugged. "I've no idea how true the story is. It could even be that it was true, only the 'death' figure was a Counter-Guardian or something, and the three brothers did something idiotic to gain their attention. The Hallows are very real, though. I've held them myself. The Elder Wand was sought after by a man by the name of Gellert Grindlewald, but he was defeated by the man who'd become my headmaster and mentor, Albus Dumbledore. Voldemort sought it shortly before he died. Long story short, I gained its allegiance, as it only works at its best when you have its allegiance, and as long as you are undefeated in battle, you have it. I got rid of it ages ago, though. The Invisibility Cloak was an heirloom of my father's family. Most such cloaks fade after a few years, but this one has lasted for centuries. The Resurrection Stone brings back the dead from beyond."

"Which would mean that it may be like the Grail itself, a sort of imperfect form of the Third Magic, Heaven's Feel," Bazett mused.

"My uncle thinks so too," Luna said. "He's been investigating the Stone every now and then. He also thinks that the three brothers may have connections to the three families who founded the Grail Wars. He thinks that the Tale of the Three Brothers may have been an inspiration to the three founders of the Grail Wars. The original goal was to reach Akasha, after all, with Zouken at least seeking to use that to cheat death."

Harry blinked. "Wait, Zelretch can look into parallel worlds, can't he? Why can't he look into another timeline where this Grail War's going on and see what happened?"

"Because it wouldn't be as much fun, otherwise."

The voice was somewhere between Christopher Lee and Tom Baker, with a touch of Gabriel Woolf. The speaker, who was standing in the doorway, seemed to be a jovial, grandfatherly-looking man, with a grey beard (with no moustache) and red eyes. Standing next to him was what looked like a girl in her late teens, with blonde hair, red eyes, wearing a white jumper and a black skirt.

"Saints preserve us," Bazett muttered. "Zelretch, and Arcueid Brunested. Did I piss someone off in another life?"

"Big sis Arc!" Luna said, flinging her arms around the vampire woman, who looked resigned but happy. Sakura had an understandable deer in the headlights look, being so close to two of the world's most infamous vampires. Medea and Medusa were wary, but not actually worried. Kuzuki was merely frowning a bit more than usual.

"Arc's fine as long as you don't piss her off," Harry said. "Or you're the latest host to Roa. Luna and her dad first met her when she woke up from her latest hibernation."

"And you don't have to worry about the second one, believe me," Arc said.

As Zelretch handed a bag to Harry, Harry said, "You know you are SO getting pranked for setting the Portkey to Fuyuki, right?"

"You can try. You won't get me with anything George Weasley sells," Zelretch said with a grin. "I'm his biggest customer, as well you know, and I know what to look out for." His face became solemn. "I will not lie to you, Harry, you are treading in dangerous waters. Be careful of what you seek. You probably won't like it…"

* * *

Zelretch's words echoed in Harry's mind, long after the two vampires had left. So too had Sakura and Kuzuki, who were heading to school, Jackie (having been recalled from her recon) in tow. Harry toyed pensively with the Resurrection Stone. He had the feeling he knew why Luna wanted it. Eventually, he bit the bullet, and used it, summoning up the spirits he and Luna wanted.

It was a man and a woman. The man was handsome, in a tired way, looking as if the world rested on his shoulders, his eyes filled with fatigue and self-loathing. The woman was beautiful, resembling both Luna and Illya.

"Kiritsugu Emiya and Irisviel von Einzbern, I presume?" Harry asked.

"In the flesh," Kiritsugu said, with weary irony. He didn't actually have flesh after all, not anymore. He peered at Harry. "Harry Potter?"

"So you recognise me?"

"I heard that you obtained the Hallows," Kiritsugu said. "I'm guessing that's how I'm here."

"So this is the power of the Resurrection Stone?" Irisviel said. "Neat. Call me Iris."

"Hey, Aunty Iris. I'm Luna, Luna Lovegood," Luna said.

"Oh, you're Pandora's child," Iris said with a smile. "I got a letter from her about you. That's nice. But I'm guessing you didn't bring us back from beyond to say hi, right?"

Harry sighed. "Sadly, yes. First things first. Kiritsugu, you're an idiot. You know Shirou has been using that method to make a new Magic Circuit set every time, risking his life, don't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know you were probably trying to deter him from using magecraft, but Shirou's gotten dragged into the Grail War. In fact, if it weren't for me figuring he'd have my bad luck, which is pretty much at a Lancer level, he might have gone into this with no foreknowledge. Instead, I gave him fair warning, and my Servant helped him awaken his Magic Circuits, his innate ones. Now Shirou can at least fuel Saber to a degree. Incidentally, he got Arturia, like you did."

Kiritsugu crossed his arms and glared at Harry. "You dragged him into this?"

"No, I just told him what to expect. Events dragged him into this, we're just trying to keep him alive. Speaking of the Grail…why did you order Arturia to destroy it?"

Kiritsugu and Iris looked at each other. It was the Homunculus who spoke. "The Grail is tainted, by the essence of an entity known as Angra Mainyu."

"Angry Man You?" Harry asked.

"Aunty Iris means the devil figure of Zoroastrianism," Luna said thoughtfully. "Angra Mainyu, sometimes known as Ahriman."

Iris nodded. "Indeed. I…was the lesser Grail, and became the Grail itself, possessed by Angra Mainyu. My spirit was freed from it, but there's still a connection. It waits within the Grail, intending to unleash destruction on the world. The Fuyuki Fire was its doing, in revenge for my husband forcing Arturia to destroy the Grail, as was the illness that later claimed his life. Once, Angra Mainyu was an ordinary man, chosen at random to become a scapegoat for all the world's evils. He was tortured every day, not even given the luxury of dying until he was old. The proverbial innocent made to feel misery so that others could live free of sin. All that pain and torment twisted his soul out of shape, until he became less of a man, not even a god or devil, merely an entity devoted to destruction."

"But how did he come to inhabit the Grail?" Harry asked, horrified.

"That was my family's fault. During the Third Grail War, during the 1930s, the von Einzberns tried to cheat the Grail system, summoning a different class of Servant, Avenger. Angra Mainyu was the Avenger summoned, but he apparently proved too weak, and was soon sent to the Grail, but he tainted it in the process," Iris said.

Kiritsugu nodded. "Angra Mainyu, in the form of Iris, showed me where my dreams and wish would take me. The complete destruction of the human race. That was the only way, he claimed, that my dream of a peaceful world would become reality. Before he could carry it out, I rejected the Grail. I shot my own daughter in that dreamscape, and throttled Iris, the one possessed by Angra Mainyu, to death. That's when I ordered Saber, Arturia, to destroy the Grail. But…how long has it been?"

"Ten years," Harry said.

"Damn. I set explosives to try and mess up the leylines to hamper things, but I was wrong," Kiritsugu said. "Potter, I need to know, is my daughter a Master?"

Harry nodded solemnly. "The von Einzberns poisoned her mind against you and Shirou. She still looks like a kid, and she's the Master of Berserker. I've been trying to persuade her to give up her crusade against Shirou, but I dunno whether I succeeded. Probably not."

Iris looked at Kiritsugu. "They've probably turned her into the Lesser Grail, like I was."

"She's not the only one," Medea said. "Zouken Matou has turned his adopted granddaughter into something similar, using fragments from the previous Grail. While we have rescued her from immediate danger, Matou is using us to protect her, but also presumably see his plans through."

"That old worm…" Kiritsugu muttered. "Potter, I need to ask you two things. The first is to protect my children, our children, Shirou and Illya both. If need be, give her the Resurrection Stone to speak to me. The second is that there are two people you'll need to be wary of: Kirei Kotomine, and the Archer of the previous Grail War. Kirei is a dangerous fighter with no morality, and he became Archer's Master at the end. Archer was very powerful, too. His true name is Gilgamesh of Uruk, and arrogant though he is, he has the power to back it up. He disappeared after the Grail was destroyed, but…"

"But I could tell he didn't return to the Grail or the Throne of Heroes. The corrupted Grail gave him a physical form and the power to use his abilities," Iris said.

"Shit," Harry muttered. "Luna, didn't you say Gilgamesh could basically spam Noble Phantasms in a blizzard of pointy metal death?"

"Yep," Luna said, all too cheerfully.

"Kirei Kotomine is the enemy?" Bazett asked. "But he's a friend! And he's the mediator for this Grail War!"

"We found you close to the church where he resides," Harry said. "And he was a Master in the previous Grail War, both for Assassin and, after Assassin was destroyed, Archer, if what Kiritsugu here says is true. He's got his own game going on. If Gilgamesh managed to remain in this world, then Kotomine has a powerful Servant at his beck and call. But why steal Lancer?"

"Misdirection," Luna said. "He wants to take a more active role in the Grail War without using a trump card." She looked over at Medea. "Caster, can you use your Noble Phantasm on Lancer? Can you bring him back to Bazett?"

Medea nodded. "It'll be risky, though, as I am not a physical fighter. I would need to get in close, and Lancer would have to be restrained. After that, yes, I could transfer the Command Seals back to his rightful owner."

"Good. We need all the help we can get," Harry said grimly. He then looked at the two shades. "I'll do my best to help your children, I swear it, and to stop Angra Mainyu."

Kiritsugu and Irisviel nodded. "Thank you," Iris said.

"And…one last thing," Kiritsugu said. "Tell Arturia…I'm sorry."

"You can tell her yourself," Harry said. "I'll bring the Stone to Illya first, and then, I'll bring it to Shirou and Arturia."

Kiritsugu nodded, and the two faded back into the aether, though not before Kiritsugu said, "Thanks…"

In the silence that followed, Bazett said, "We're in really deep shit, aren't we?"

"Such are the perils of magical investigative journalism," Luna replied.

 **CHAPTER 9 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, here you have it. Okay, using the Resurrection Stone to call up the spirits of the dead to find out what's going on is pretty much a** ** _deus ex machina_** **, but the Hallows pretty much were in the Potterverse anyway. Most of the next chapter will be Harry and Luna trying to get Illya on side.**

 **BTW, hope you liked the cameos of Zelretch and Arcueid.**

 **Incidentally, this will be the last chapter until the next big update, in all likelihood. Hope this tides you over. Anyway, you got 9 chapters of this story. However, the plot bunnies are attacking me again, and you might get another Harry Potter/** ** _Fate/Stay Night_** **crossover…or rather, a** ** _Fate/Zero_** **crossover. Keep an eye on** ** _The Cauldron_** **for the initial chapters.**

 **Review-answering time! Thanks for those who liked the Kevin Sorbo reference. That was just something I threw in. I never liked** ** _Hercules: The Legendary Journeys_** **(I was really into** ** _Doctor Who_** **at the time: yes, I was into** ** _Doctor Who_** **before it came back, and I still am), but I thought I'd chuck in a reference anyway. Let's face it, the only other version I could have referred to is the Disney version (the Dwayne Johnson movie hadn't come out by this point, anyway).**

 **tamagat** **: Harry hasn't surpassed Dumbledore in terms of both raw power and knowledge of spells. He's still in his mid-twenties. However, unlike Dumbledore, Harry is willing to kill, if only as a last resort, and he's better at situational awareness.**

 **Rangle** **: Yeah, it's like a child star being forever known for one role. As for describing the spells, I only really know a few spells from the Nasuverse offhand, and certainly none Illya would know. She isn't exactly trying too hard against Harry, if only because she's underestimated him. The fact that he continues to use Stunners is seen by her as a weakness.**

 **doomedberserker** **: Thank you. While I would like to say that, as with some of my other fanfics, I like to mix things up with differing viewpoints of the station of canon (like with Fleur's POV of the First Task in** ** _In Spite of Appearances_** **, or Haku's viewpoint of Kakashi VS Zabuza in** ** _Observations of a Wannabe Kunoichi_** **), it wasn't the case here. As I mentioned before, I am SHIT at writing battle scenes. So instead of writing a lacklustre fight scene between the Servants, I thought it a little better to write a possibly dud fight scene between Harry and Illya that nonetheless showcases the battle between their differing ideologies. Harry is trying not to kill Illya, Illya is playing with him in a lethal manner.**

 **iledian** **: I'm pretty ambivalent about Kiritsugu, if only because he treats Arturia so poorly. I understand his pragmatism, but I also think he shouldn't have treated Arturia with the contempt he did. In claiming heroes cause a lot of evil in the world, he overlooks the good they do, something I had Harry point out in his talk with Arturia.**

 **Zane Tribal Tyne Alexandros** **: Yeah, not gonna happen.**

 **Alex2909** **: Harry would only go all out if he was actually trying to kill Illya. Instead, he's trying to tire her out, though given that she has Magic Circuits coming out of her ears, well, he'd tire out first.**

 **No numbered annotations this time.**


	11. Chapter 10: Parley

**CHAPTER 10:**

 **PARLEY**

After their talk with shades from beyond the grave, Harry and Luna set out for the von Einzbern castle. Medusa was coming with them (in physical form, albeit with modern clothes), while Medea stayed behind to guard Bazett. They'd sent a Patronus spell, one of the few spells that could penetrate a bounded field, in advance, with a single message: _We want parley with Illya_.

They soon came to the edge of the estate. Harry had to admit, it was an impressive place. Opulent and rich, looking a little out of place in Japan. Doubtless the von Einzbern Masters wanted a home away from home. The bounded fields stopped them from going any further, and in any case, they had a reception committee. Illya was flanked by a pair of women in old-fashioned maid outfits, looking like they had stepped out of medieval times, including what looked like elaborate coifs or headdresses. Judging by the red eyes, so similar to Luna and Illya's, he guessed they were Homunculi.

"So, you wish to parley with me?" Illya asked. Harry realised, there was something in her eyes that wasn't quite there before. There was a doubt, perhaps even a hopefulness. Maybe his words had gotten through to her after all.

"Sort of," Harry said. "We came to negotiate, and share information. Plus, I have a gift for you." He took out the Resurrection Stone slowly and carefully, and placed it on the ground in front of him. "Not this itself, but rather, what it can grant. You know of the Deathly Hallows?"

"Of course," Illya said, an insulted look on her face, which swiftly turned into realisation. "The Resurrection Stone…" she breathed.

"Mistress," one of the Homunculi maids interjected. "For your safety, I'll pick it up. It may be booby-trapped or bewitched."

"Very well, Sella," Illya said, conceding the point. Harry realised, there was some part of her that wanted to…well, be less cautious. Try and see the good in others. Something the von Einzberns tried to stamp out.

"We used it earlier to ask your parents the truth about what happened," Harry said. "We would have told you ourselves, but I didn't think you'd believe us."

"Too many Wrackspurts," Luna added. "Your maid can use the Stone herself. Turn it three times in your hand while thinking of the people you wish to recall."

After a moment, Illya said, "Are there any enchantments on it, Sella?"

"Not that I can tell, beyond what makes this the Resurrection Stone," Sella said, as she picked it up and examined it. "No magic designed to influence the mind or body."

Another pause, before Illya said, "Then call them both back. Mother **_and_** Father."

"Lady Illyasviel…"

"Please, Sella. If it is a trick…then the Boy Who Lived will become the Boy Who Died. Berserker will ensure that."

Sella sighed a long-suffering sigh. "Yes, Lady Illyasviel." She then turned the Stone over in her hand three times…

* * *

Medea watched as Bazett paced the room. "I don't like this," the Irish Magus said. "We're sitting ducks here."

"Bazett, as Caster, this temple has become my territory. Here, I am, if not supreme, then at an advantage over most," Medea said.

Bazett looked over at Medea. "You were Altrum's Servant, weren't you? I heard he wanted to get a new one, so he put the call out to me to kill you. He told me he got Caster, but you were being insolent."

Medea snorted. "Your colleague had a particularly vile way of getting mana, and in such a wasteful manner too. I could have gone and gotten more than his paltry and appalling methods would have gotten me, but he felt threatened by me, unable to trust a magic user potentially more powerful than himself. If he was a friend of yours, you need better friends."

"You killed him," Bazett accused.

"Of course. Do you know why he summoned me specifically, Bazett?" Medea scoffed. "I am Medea of Colchis, known as the Witch of Betrayal. He thought I knew how to summon the Dragon of Colchis, making it his trump card. I didn't, and he already thought of me as less than useful. I am tired of being treated like a tool, Bazett. Servant I may be, but I am not a tool to be discarded on a childish, petulant whim."

Bazett scowled. "And what stops you from killing me?"

"That is indeed a good question. The first is, you're not a Master anymore, and in this temple, I am the superior Magus, so if I wanted to, I could kill you, or subject you to worse fates. However, I do not need to, and given what Luna and Harry have discussed, I may be able to get you Lancer back," Medea said. "The second is…I have to confess something. I have known little genuine kindness both in life and as a Heroic Spirit. But both Luna and Harry have shown me a substantial amount. Through their actions, they show themselves to be better heroes than many of those puppets of the gods I have known. Not only that, but despite knowing my past, they treat me as a person. A _person_. Do you understand how refreshing that is to one like myself? That I am being given a second chance? Something few in my life ever did? I wanted people who would take me for what I am, not the Witch of Betrayal, not the former princess of Colchis…but Medea. Harry and Luna could have killed you before you had a chance to wake up. They could have left you to die. Instead, they charged me with helping you. And I obey not because it is expected of me as a Servant obeying a Master. I obey…because I _want_ to, out of gratitude for their friendship."

Bazett, after a moment, scoffed. "I'd call you an idiot for believing that…but from what I heard, and what I've seen, Harry and Luna are like that. At least they've got better heads on their shoulders than some wizards I've known. Well, Harry does. I'm not sure what to make of Luna."

"I don't think anyone does," Medea remarked dryly. "As I said, I can give you back Lancer if we can trap him. You know the truth about the Grail now. The Grail War is now an exercise in futility. We now need as much help to deal with Kotomine and Gilgamesh as we can get. From there, we'll work out what to do about the Grail itself."

Bazett nodded, but she was still wary, and understandably so. Medea decided that wasn't going to change in the near future, so she summoned her crystal ball, hoping she could try and penetrate the bounded fields around the church. Given what they had learned, she felt she needed to confirm that…

* * *

At the end of it, Illya was sobbing. Harry and Luna were embracing her in a hug. Illya had spoken to her parents' shades, and had learned the horrid truth. It took some time for it to get through to her, but now, she understood what was going on.

She was still, in many ways, like the child she resembled, Harry thought. True, she was about eighteen or nineteen, but something stunted her mental growth to a degree, as much as her physical growth had. Part of it was losing her parents at such a young age, when she actually knew them. Part of it was thanks to the von Einzberns shaping her into a tool to kill Shirou Emiya. And part of it was a little girl who wanted acceptance for who she was, rather than what she was. In a way, Harry sympathised: he wanted to be known as who he was, Harry Potter, not under the ridiculous cognomen of the Boy Who Lived.

"This is disturbing news," Sella remarked. "I don't think Jubstacheit will believe us, though. He will claim this deception, even if this is one of the Hallows. The only reasonable way he would accept this is if you sent him the Resurrection Stone. And even then, he may not listen."

"Yeah, Old Man Acht always had that thirty-foot stick up his arse, according to Mum," Luna said. "There are better ways of ensuring colonic health."

Illya, despite herself, actually laughed. But she became solemn. "If the Grail is contaminated by Angra Mainyu, then winning the Grail is pointless. And given what my parents said about Kotomine and Gilgamesh…"

"As the Lesser Grail, you will probably be targeted by them, or else by Zouken Matou, though he'll probably concentrate on Sakura," Harry said. "They aren't the only problem. Rin Tohsaka may be a problem, or at least her Servant, Archer. There was something about him that was odd. Luna, I might have to have you meet him. If you do have Mystic Eyes capable of seeing who he is…unless you can do it with a Pensieve or Legilimency."

"No, I need to see him in person. But yes, his identity might be vital to this," Luna said. "I'll head to the school, persuade Rin to let me talk to him on a pretext."

"Okay. Illya, you want to go talk to your little brother, a bit more civilly? School's almost out, and I'm sure he'd like to get to know you better now that we've gotten this misunderstanding out of the way."

Illya eventually nodded. "Okay. Let's go meet my little brother. Sella? Leysritt? Hold the fort till I get back."

"Be careful, Illya," Sella said. Her eyes looked at Harry. "You are somewhat quick to trust, even with the evidence at hand."

Illya smiled, and Heracles materialised. "If he or his Servant try anything, then Berserker will ensure it's the last thing they ever do in this life."

Harry took out his wand, and murmured, " _Expecto Patronum_." As the ghostly outline of a stag appeared, he said quietly to it, "Go to Saber. Warn her that we are coming to Shirou's house, with Illya and Berserker in tow, under a peace banner."

As the Patronus cantered off, the others watched it leave. "A corporeal Patronus," Sella remarked. "A difficult spell even for an adult wizard."

"Took me most of a school year to learn it," Harry said. "I learned it when I was 13, but, well, using it under pressure against Dementors is never easy. Luna?"

Luna nodded. "Oh, and Illya? I'll use the same spells on you that Mum used on me later. That way, you'll probably end up normal. For us, anyway. See you later." She then Apparated.

"Okay. Rider? Berserker? Illya? Hold on to me," Harry said. He cringed a little when the massive hand of Heracles came down on his shoulder. He could sense the power restrained, power enough to crush his bones into powder a hundred times over. Only Illya held him back from doing so. Then, he Apparated…

* * *

"So, will he accept me?" Illya asked nervously. They were waiting just outside the Emiya household, under a Disillusionment Charm.

"Shirou's very accepting," Harry said. "It's both a virtue and a fault. He sees people as fundamentally good, for the most part. And given what we told him about you and your parents, he'd see you as a victim in this, not as a villain."

"What about you? Do you see the good in me?" Illya said.

"I see great good and evil, Illya. All people have that capacity. Your main fault was, if anything, not enough critical thinking. Why did your father order the Grail destroyed? Why should you kill Shirou, who had nothing to do with it? Don't get me wrong, I've not always thought hard about things. You know about the four Houses at Hogwarts?"

Illya nodded. "Of course."

"I was a Gryffindor."

"Ah. Brave and valorous. Or rather, brash and impulsive."

Harry nodded. "I often rushed in where angels fear to tread. Once, that, plus not being told some vital information, got my godfather killed. I have to take some of the blame, but if Dumbledore didn't keep his cards close to his chest…I think a lot of people would still be alive today. Illya, you're not a bad person in the end. True, you're a Magus, but you also want love and recognition. And that's one thing you can't get by magic, wizarding or Magus. Love, I mean. All you can do is reach out a hand, and hope it is taken. Illya, I gave you another chance, because you were mistaken, and I thought you could have a chance to listen. You're still young. You've got a long life ahead of you."

"…No. I don't."

After a moment, Harry said, "If it's about you being a Homunculus, Luna can modify you, make it so you grow. It can even extend your lifespan."

"…I doubt it would be for long, Harry," Illya said. "The modifications…even if I survive this Grail War, I have only a year left to live. I don't know how much longer Luna could extend my life."

"…Shit," Harry muttered. Any further discussion on the matter was ended when they saw Shirou and Arturia walking up the road. He cancelled the Disillusionment Charm on himself and Illya (Medusa and Heracles currently astralized), and stood. Arturia was, understandably, wary, but Shirou smiled. "Illya? Big sis?"

"Hello, little brother," Illya said, before rushing over to him and hugging him.

Arturia, after a moment, couldn't help but smile at the reconciliation between siblings. She then walked over to Harry, and said, "You have an uncanny knack of making foes into friends," she said. "Had I had you at Camelot, mayhap it would never have fallen."

"You're giving me too much credit, Arturia," Harry said. "Incidentally…we found out more about the Grail. Do you know anything about the Deathly Hallows? I know they were after your time, but I thought the Grail might have told you or something."

"Aye, I know of the Hallows, though not through the Grail. Rather, Irisviel once spoke of them on the plane over to Fuyuki, ten years ago. Mystic Codes of wizarding magic rather than that of the Magi."

"I was in possession of all three. The Elder Wand is…elsewhere. However, I personally possess the Resurrection Stone, and the Cloak of Invisibility. We used the Stone to speak with Kiritsugu and Irisviel. If you wish, you can speak to them directly. Otherwise, I need to tell you about what happened myself. The Grail is indeed tainted…by the essence of Angra Mainyu…"

* * *

" _Born from sin, into Merlin's hand, the Once and Future King, vowed to return again_ …" Luna sang softly to herself(1). She was waiting for Rin, who had apparently some business to attend to just after school, whereas Shirou had already headed back home. Sakura and Jackie were being escorted back by Kuzuki.

Finally, though, Rin came out of the gates, and frowned. "Why are you here, Lovegood?"

"We found some more information. Do you mind if I walk with you? Caster's back at the temple, so you don't have to worry."

Rin, after a moment, nodded. As the two of them walked back, Rin asked, "What did you find out?"

"The Grail is tainted, like we thought. Kiritsugu Emiya ordered Saber to destroy it because of that taint. Long story short, the Grail is tainted by an entity known as Angra Mainyu."

"And you found this out how?" Rin asked sceptically.

"The Resurrection Stone," Luna said. "You _have_ heard of the Deathly Hallows, haven't you?"

"Yes. Some European Mystic Codes, only wizard-created. The Stone is meant to summon back shades of the dead." She frowned. "Not unlike the Heaven's Feel. I'd love to examine it. My family specialises in Jewelcraft, magic involving jewels and gems. So, let me guess, you summoned up Kiritsugu Emiya's shade and asked him?"

"And Irisviel von Einzbern," Luna said. "Also, I'd be wary around Kotomine. Apparently he's the current Master of Lancer."

"But he's the mediator of the Grail War!"

"He was also the Master of Assassin in the last one," Luna said. "And he later became the Master of Archer, Gilgamesh."

Rin frowned. "Archer was my father's Servant."

" _Was_ being the operative term. Rin, I'm just telling you this as a heads-up," Luna said. "You could do with less Wrackspurts."

"And you could do with less of whatever drugs you ingest," Rin retorted.

"The only drug I am on is called Luna Lovegood," Luna said with a smile.

They were on a deserted street, so Rin said, with a weary sigh, "Archer, chase her away."

Archer materialised. "Fine, but I was kinda entertained."

As Archer readied a couple of swords, Luna's eyes were wide, in fear. But not because of the threat Archer was posing to her right this moment (Archer just wanted to chase her away for the moment, albeit reluctantly, as Luna was funny). Of course, her sudden Apparition would be construed as such by Rin and Archer.

But it was something else. Her eyes had seen who Archer really was…

* * *

Harry, Illya, and their Servants were having a discussion (well, save for Berserker, who was still astralized), when Luna suddenly appeared with a crack. She was standing on the table in front of them all, staring into space, not moving even when those around her stopped making aggressive or defensive postures, and started to realise something was wrong. "Luna?" Harry asked. "Luna, what's wrong?"

Luna said, in a lost voice, "I know who Archer is. Rin's Servant."

"Surely that is good tidings?" Arturia asked.

"No," Harry said. "Something about who he is has shaken her. Very little does that. Luna..."

Luna turned around to face Shirou, and looked down at him with a bleak, sorrowful expression. "Did you know that the Throne of Heroes include heroes that may yet come to be? And even what are known as Counter-Guardians? Forces retained by Gaia or Alaya to redress the balance as they see it."

It was Arturia who actually caught on to what Luna was implying. "This cannot be…" she murmured.

"What's going on? Who is Archer?" Shirou demanded.

"His name is Counter-Guardian EMIYA," Luna said, with a bleak finality, speaking words that ensured this whole situation got a lot more complicated. "Archer is a future version of _you_ , Shirou…"

 **CHAPTER 10 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, that cat's out of the bag. Oh dear. Now, Luna isn't actually frightened of Archer being Shirou because she's afraid of dying. She's frightened of Archer because she has seen that he is a Counter-Guardian, and she has to wonder how a sweet guy like Shirou, distorted though he is, became a Counter-Guardian.**

 **Review-answering time!** **tamagat** **: He can use wandless magic.**

 **Zane Tribal Tyne Alexandros** **: The term 'scapegoat' comes from a Hebrew tradition of putting the sins of the tribe onto a goat that is sent into the desert to die (and is said to be 'for Azazel'). A similar concept to Angra Mainyu in the Nasuverse comes from the Ursula K Le Guin short story** ** _Those Who Walk Away From Omelas_** **, where a utopian society is dependent on the perpetual misery of a single child.**

 **zeek17** **: Don't take it too seriously, I was saying what would happen if you were too close to Zouken. Not that anyone would want to be…**

 **1\. Luna's singing the chorus to Kamelot's** ** _Once and Future King_** **. Of course, I don't own the lyrics. The song was used as the theme music to one of the** ** _Fate/Zero_** **Abridged series,** ** _Fate/Cero_** **, mentioned in a previous chapter.**


	12. Chapter 11: The Awful Truth

**CHAPTER 11:**

 **THE AWFUL TRUTH**

There were few times when Luna was actually reduced to anything like a sobbing wreck. This was one of them. Harry held her close, and Illya gently rubbed her fellow Homunculus' back. Shirou was in the kitchen, starting dinner, while trying to wrap his head around her pronouncement. "Can someone explain to me what a Counter-Guardian is?"

It was Illya who responded. "One of the fundamental differences between wizard magic and magecraft is that the latter draws upon the Earth's power in a way that draws the attention of Gaia. Gaia and Alaya, as you should know, are two entities that make up the World. Gaia is the consciousness of this planet, and Alaya is the collective will of humanity. They need agents to redress the balance. Counter-Guardians are called to destroy any threats, including humans, to that balance."

"And Archer…he's a version of me that somehow became one of these?" Shirou asked, understandably horrorstruck. "But…why?"

"I don't know," Luna said quietly. "But…I can guess. You don't want to see anyone crying, right? You want to be a hero. You've got a saving people thing. And never asking for any reward of your own. But get seen doing this for long enough, save people for apparently no reason, and perhaps people would get suspicious, or jealous. Or maybe you couldn't save everyone one day, and you turned, in desperation, to Alaya. I would peg Archer as a Counter-Guardian of Alaya."

"Is he our friend or foe?" Harry asked. "I got some weird impression from him earlier. Like there was something he didn't care about anymore."

Luna looked at Harry. "Can I see your memories of him, Harry?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Just be gentle, okay?"

Luna nodded, before whispering, " _Legilimens._ " After a few seconds, she said, "I see what you mean. I'm not an expert in fighting styles, but his style seemed suicidal. It's a brilliant strategy, allowing him to exploit people trying to exploit holes he deliberately leaves in his defence…but it also seems to be an expression of his psyche. Counter-Guardian EMIYA secretly desires to die forever. I also noticed a few things you didn't, Harry. Whenever he looked at Shirou, there's regret, anger…and a desire to kill that isn't there normally."

"What?!" Shirou demanded. "Archer wants me dead? But he's _me!_ "

"He's a you who regrets his decision, Shirou," Luna said. "He wants to kill you before you become him, arguably a fate worse than death. He doesn't care if it creates a time paradox. He doesn't care if he divides the universe by zero, to which the appropriate response is 'oh shit'. He wants to die."

"Is Archer our enemy, and not just Shirou's?" Arturia asked.

"He's probably apathetic to us unless we directly defend Shirou," Luna said.

"So, we're his enemy," Harry said bleakly.

"Probably. Maybe you can sweet-talk him, Harry," Luna said. "He likes your snark." Her face fell. "And, if nothing else…I saw something we can use."

"What's that?" Medusa asked.

"Archer seems to have a Reality Marble," Luna said. "Which means, theoretically, Shirou has one."

Harry looked at the gaping faces of almost everyone present, save for Shirou. He felt a little adrift, so he put up his hand. "Can anyone tell the people who played hooky from the magecraft classes what in Merlin's name is a Reality Marble?"

"In very simple terms, it's the ability to override reality, even if only briefly, with your own mental world," Luna said. "It takes a significant amount of energy to even manifest it in the first place. They're ridiculously rare, and it goes without saying that we don't tell anyone about this if we can help it. They can get Shirou slapped with a Sealing Designation. They'd cut you up just to find out how one works, Shirou."

Shirou, understandably, looked shaken. Medusa, meanwhile, pursed her lips. "Luna, would that have anything to do with him being an Incarnation?"

Luna shrugged. "It's possible. Given that he's an Incarnation of Sword, it'd have something to do with swords."

"To even have a Reality Marble is a frightening power," Arturia mused. "If this Archer, this shade of a Shirou yet to be possesses one, and means us ill, then we are truly in strife. It is difficult enough matching Noble Phantasms of other Servants. None of you have faced the Gates of Babylon of Gilgamesh, where he could rain Noble Phantasm weapons upon his adversaries, or Prelati's Spellbook of the previous Caster, and the Horrors he would summon. But Iskander's Noble Phantasm, the Ionian Hetairoi, was actually a Reality Marble as well, where he could summon up his army. For all I detested his attacks on my character and my desires, I cannot deny he was a truly great warrior, but his abilities were truly frightening. The only thing that defeated it was Gilgamesh using his personal Noble Phantasm, a weapon known as Ea. He boasted about his feat afterwards, when we fought(1). I witnessed Iskander using it once, though, beforehand, against Assassin."

"So you witnessed a Reality Marble?" Illya asked, impressed. "Wasn't Iskander the Rider of the last Grail War?"

"Aye. As I said, the man and I disputed over many points, but he was a truly great warrior. A shame he fell, and not Gilgamesh. For all his faults, I would have found it a better battle against one such as he, who didn't view me as a possession. Even so, I had only just killed Berserker, whom I had learned was Sir Lancelot."

"Damn, being forced to kill your old comrade," Harry muttered sympathetically. "That sucks balls."

"My sentiments precisely, albeit without the crudity you gave it," Arturia said with a sad smile. "Truly, that Grail War was hellish, more than any other war I have participated in, if only because I had my life and ideals smashed to fragments." She shook her head. "My apologies, I seem to have diverted us from our course. We were discussing the possible Reality Marble of Archer, and of Shirou."

"There's little to be done but speculate," Medusa pointed out. "That we know he has a Reality Marble is frightening enough, but it is useful information all the same, as is his true identity." Medusa looked over at Shirou, through the glasses her Breaker Gorgon had transfigured into. "You're taking this very well."

"I think it's because it's a bit too much to take in," Shirou admitted. "A future me became a hero, and now wants to commit suicide, possibly by killing me? Give me a moment before I start screaming in fear, please."

"Fear and horror are appropriate responses, little brother," Illya said with a cheerful air.

"Mayhap this is a conversation for another time," Arturia pointed out. "We were discussing the Grail, and the taint of Angra Mainyu. Harry, I would like to see this Resurrection Stone myself."

Shirou nodded, eager to get the conversation away from the subject of Archer. "Yeah, I wanna talk to Dad…and my mother. I mean, I would have loved to have Irisviel as a mother, wouldn't I?"

"Of course!" Illya said as Harry took out the Resurrection Stone and slid it over to them.

"Just turn it over in your hand three times while thinking of the people you want to bring back," Harry said. "It's only temporary, though. Keep that in mind…"

* * *

At the temple, Medea was frowning, as was Bazett, as Kuzuki, Sakura, and Jackie entered their quarters. "What is it, Medea?" Sakura asked.

"I have good news and bad news. The bad news is, I managed to finally penetrate the bounded fields around the church Kirei Kotomine resides in. I have confirmed that not only is he the current Master of Lancer, but he is sustaining a second Servant, one who matches the general description of Gilgamesh, the prior Grail War's Archer. Barring the ostentatious gold armour, anyway," Medea said. To illustrate the point, she held out her crystal ball, and showed what she had seen. It was blurry, like a TV picture with interference and a bad signal, but they could see the blue-clad Servant Harry and Shirou had spoken of. They also saw a basement area, filled with children, being sapped of their energy, with a blonde-haired man, red of eye and haughty of countenance, sitting on a chair, drinking wine from a goblet.

"I'm still amazed you managed to penetrate the bounded fields without getting caught," Bazett said.

"With more power at my disposal means I can use some of my more powerful techniques," Medea said. "I believe it's not unlike hacking a computer or breaking into a house: you have to find the right entry point, lest you trigger alarms. Not all of my spells are used for combat, and the best surveillance spells are a drain on my reserves. That being said, I couldn't use it for long, because they will notice something's up if I spend too much time looking in on them."

"What's the good news?" Sakura asked.

"The good news is, the ritual I designed for removing your Crest Worms is complete. Well, technically, it's not a removal per se. These things are so integrated with your body and Magic Circuits, it would be virtually impossible to remove them safely without an adverse reaction. But I found a better way of dealing with them: transform them until they are actually part of your flesh rather than parasites mimicking your flesh. I can definitely remove whatever Zouken uses to take control of the Crest Worms, but I cannot guarantee purging every last part of the Grail within you, not without having too high a chance of that either killing you, or else bringing the essence of the Grail to the fore. Given what we learned about Angra Mainyu, that may be a risk we shouldn't take. However, it does mean that you won't become the Lesser Grail when we finish this."

Sakura looked grim, but determined. "I've been ready ever since Harry and Luna said they would try to do this. I'm more worried about what Grandfather will do to you all."

"Zouken Matou may be powerful, but he is stagnant," Medea said contemptuously. "And a human being, even one as ancient and knowledgeable as he, are outclassed by Servants. In any case, should he try to put more Crest Worms into you…this ritual will make your body poisonous to Crest Worms. Magically-speaking, anyway. That's another reason designing this ritual took a lot of time."

"What do I do?" Sakura asked.

"Lie down, and try to remain still. I won't lie to you, Sakura. It will be painful."

Sakura gave a rather chilling smile that belied the bitterness beneath. "I'm used to pain…"

* * *

By the end of it, Shirou was sobbing, and even Arturia was weeping, albeit in a stoic manner, tears trickling slowly down her cheeks. True, she had berated Kiritsugu at first, but afterwards, with Kiritsugu apologising, and Irisviel speaking to her, Arturia's stoic façade began to break down. And she readily agreed to Kiritsugu's final request: that she protect Shirou as best as she could. He also told Shirou to let Arturia help him.

Shirou looked over at Illya as he wiped his tears away. "Your mother… _our_ mother, she was really beautiful."

"She was made that way," Illya said, her own eyes glistening. "I wish I got more time to spend with her, and with Dad."

Arturia slid the Resurrection Stone back over to Harry. "A dangerous thing, this Stone," she said. "Tis something that plucks at the heartstrings."

"I know," Harry said, putting it away. "In the legend about the Deathly Hallows, the man who used it wanted to resurrect his lover, but could only get a shade. He killed himself when he realised it, to be with her again."

"Necromancy is not something to trifle with," Arturia said. "Those who do, do so at their peril."

"Magi do it all the time," Illya said solemnly. "They delve into the realms of what others would consider forbidden."

Breaking the silence that followed, Arturia said, "What is our next course of action?"

Harry frowned. "Our next course of action is to deal with Kirei Kotomine as soon as possible, along with Lancer and Gilgamesh. While Zouken is a threat, I think he's willing to lie in wait for the time being before he makes his move with Sakura."

"Hopefully, he won't realise what we're doing with Sakura until it's too late," Luna said. "Medea is removing the Crest Worms even as we speak from her."

"What about Archer?" Shirou asked.

"We'll see if we can get him and Rin on board," Luna said. "His Reality Marble could prove vital to stopping Gilgamesh. If he agrees, we have six Servants against two, plus Kirei. After they're dealt with, we'll then deal with Zouken. I'll then contact Uncle Zelretch for advice on dealing with this stalled Grail War, and with the taint of Angra Mainyu."

Harry and the others nodded. They had made considerable progress so far. Even so, victory was by no means certain, and the hardest tasks lay ahead…

 **CHAPTER 11 ANNOTATIONS:**

 **So, here you have it, the latest chapter of** ** _Perils of Magical Investigative Journalism_** **. It'll also probably be the last one for a little while: my inspiration has run dry on this story for the moment. I'll get back to it sooner or later, though.**

 **In the meantime, feel free to check out my new crossover between Harry Potter and** ** _Fate/Zero_** **.** ** _Ex Umbra in Solem_** **has probably been read by a number of you, but for those who haven't seen it, check it out. It features a Master of Death Harry getting caught up in Arturia's summoning circle. I'm writing it as I watch the** ** _Fate/Zero_** **series.**

 **Review-answering time!** **Reishin Amara** **: That's quite funny. I actually only watched that particular episode relatively recently (I watch the episodes as continuous marathons, and hadn't done one with episodes 51-54 yet), and I loved it.**

 **Guest** **: Well, technically you might be correct, but Harry doesn't view Luna as a trophy wife. For all his exasperation at her, they love each other very much.**

 **Vice Granscenic** **: Luna can see a lot, and her Mystic Eyes give her that ability to see even if Archer is a Counter-Guardian. I view her as being a little like Delirium from** ** _The Sandman_** **. Just roll with it, okay?**

 **1\. I am yet to watch the relevant episodes of** ** _Fate/Zero_** **, and I don't know whether Gilgamesh said this. I don't think he does in the show anyway, but I wouldn't be surprised if he bragged about it to Arturia to try and break her spirit, saying, effectively, "Even Iskander's Reality Marble fell before me!"**


End file.
